Roberta

“I meant," said Ipslore bitterly, "what is there in this world that truly makes living worthwhile?"
Death thought about it.
CATS, he said eventually. CATS ARE NICE.”
― Terry Pratchett, Sourcery

“[in regards to the "Asian guy"] He was so cute - in that Final Fantasy Thirty-Seven way. What I'm saying is, the Sex Fu is strong with this one.
--The Chronicles of Abby Normal”
― Christopher Moore, You Suck

“The music coming from inside sounded like robots fucking. And complaining about it. In rhythmic monotone. European robots.”
― Christopher Moore, You Suck: A Love Story

“As you go through life's rich tapestry, you realize that most people you meet aren't fit to shine your shoes. It's a sad fact, but it's true. A good friend is someone who'd hide you if you were on the run for murder. How many of them do you know?”
― Lemmy Kilmister