Status Updates From A Girl is a Half-formed Thing

"Where I have. Rotten. Been. Where we have. Brother and. Brother and. Go round my head. Simple as it was. Gone. Wrong. Where my hands are. Hold out for me. Hold. I never asked I never did I. Moving. Don't see through you. Is silent and blank. Don't.
Don't forget me because I won't be long. I'm going walking. Over the stones. Close out the cold door. On me. My love. Close out those old stones."

"...Well my girl, you may look down your nose at my beliefs and friends but I wasn't out throwing myself on every man passing while my brother was dying.
You are disgusting. You are. Sick in the head. How you've lived. This filth you've made of yourself.
So now your good kind brother is gone and God forgive me but it's true.
I almost wish it was you lying there in that box.
You. And not. My. Son."

"You have shamed yourself and me and your brother's most of all. I can't even look at you. I haven't wanted you in my home. But I allowed you because I thought you were making amends. But not you. Of course not. Selfish to the last. You couldn't even let your brother's wake pass without making a show of yourself, showing everyone your contempt..."

"Where's my brother? She says I've had enough nough to last a lifetime. Ma. Your brother's dead my girl. Lying stretched out in there as you know well. Left behind in. Your brother's dead and all you can think about is. Before everyone you came here and displayed yourself looking for sympathy. From me? From me? You dirty... I've only so much patience and I've bitten my tongue too long."

"I. In this house of. I am left behind.
Is your face sore?
Not too.
Teach you what. Teach you to walking all times of day and night.
House I am left behind.
Yes Mammy.
You're a disgrace.
I am. I am.
If your father was.
House I am left behind in. If your. I am sit. Curl table body and face.
Sit up while I'm talking.
I'n mammy I. Feel my ebb to the grass and tea with leaves I'n. Going.
Sit up I said. Sit up."

"Stag i can't stan i cn.an't stan i fall down on the splish of the water run it. See my invisible face. i'm drowned i'm awake i'm drowned. No your brother is and not you.
Clickedy click the lights are off. Are on. Water take all. Boil up. i slip in the deep. My face go under there. Purple waves and taste of foam.
You. No. Not here. i'm burn."

"Go she says and have a bath. Lie down and later someone'll take you to get a stitch in that.

I open the door look at. You're awake saying what's gone on you're not. I wish. You were."

"What are you on about? Your lies and lies are. Have you no shame? Mammy. All my shame I give to you. I'm turning off the lights I'm shutting down my doors. What do you mean by that? Don't turn your back on me. What do you mean? Nothing Mammy. I've had enough do you hear me? Enough of you. Your face. You're a state. Making a show of yourself on today of all days."

"I'm screaming in the blackness. Scream until I'm done my body. Full of nothing. Full of dirt the. I am. My I can. There there breath that. Where is your face off somewhere. Where am I lay down this tool. I fall I felled. I banged my face head I think. Time for somewhere. Isgoinghome.
I get there I get. I get to the door. I am. Bleed blood on my mouth. Gone. My I know it's there. Was. Salt and iron. Gone."

"Don't I come all mouth of blood of choking of he there bitch there bithc there there stranlge me strangle how you like it how you think it is fun grouged breath sacld my lungs til I. Puk blod over me frum. In the next but. Let me air. Soon I'n dead I'm sre. Loose. Ver the aIrWays. Here. mY nose my mOuth I. VOMit. Clear. CleaR. He stopS up gETs. Stands uP.
Thanks to your uncle for that like the best fuck I ever had."

"Hear the way he. Sloows. Hurts m. Jesus skreamtheway he. Doos the fuck the fuckink slatch in me. Scream. Kracks. Done fuk me open he dine done on me. Done done Til he hye happy fucky shoves upo comes ui. Kom shitting ut h mith fking kmg I'm fking cmin up you. Retch I. Retch I. Dinneradntea I choke mny. Up my. Thrtoat I. He come hecomehe. More. Slash the fuck the rank the sick up me up he and sticks his fingers in."

"Thighs in claws I vice. Rip m open. I make this. I make this. Undone he push my face hye pusk my head. My eyes flat of his hand. In the skull my. In the muck of my crown of stones. Don't break me open face open. Crushing I hear boines on done he up me fuck me. Smeeling he I don't not do this I a don't know he's fuck me. Stucks the fck the thing in. Me. In. Jesus. I nme. Go. Away."

"Get off me. By the wrist and the hair on my head. I'm. No this isn't. No I. Slap. My brother. No. Shut up. Shut up. My brother died. He's died he's. I don't care a single fuck about. Where's your uncle is he here? Is he here? Scream until I. He. That means no. Enough of that and strike. So hard. Home. On my face. Spew I think of blood or words I bit down on my tongue. Turn the eye off it won't. He punch the bag me."

"He says. I've been waiting for you. Days and days. I knew you wouldn't be long. Where's the. Not. Looking close til I see him in the dark. Behind my eye. That man whose face is broken up. That man whose face is scratches and cuts. That man who say girleen like a song."

"Someone coming I make. It look. Down from mountains and hills. Angel save me. Fill my mouth. Comes. And so I make. He comes and comes til I see. Through the broken trees. Through the kicked-down weeds and nettle all the same. Through eyelids I have. Close. I make.
He says out from the twilight. From my brain. You've come here. I know. Quick and should be done. Give myself to the. My will be done."

"Across the lake lights of cars and bikes and roaring off somewhere I'm here. In the dark. Where the lights. Where the water. Calm and kind. Benevolent with thorns and stones I. Know. I smell the same. As something. Once is me. Where I walk. Don't think. Where I'm not frightened. Face of the water. I know. Face of the grass ai lie in. Lay broke upon.
It's the devil. I do here. Swallow glass the whole way down."

"Don't stop running.
From my. Stone walls and schools and hospitals.
Eyes burn with thud through arteries and eyeball veins. Street lamps curling light. Restaurants and pubs I twisted that. I hear. My tongue. I hold. My scream mouth shut. Turn the little road. This little road. Go in here. Now you. Go in the. Black."

"I run. No. To get out quick I. Out of my way. Run the run the. To the door. Down the street and on til the house rips out of my head. Where the what's the. Something fix this. I know to fix this. I want. And I fix this place where I can run. This gouge will drive me mad. Where's comfort where's safe. From here. I run from where you are not.
The pant of it. In the dank. Lungs heave up blood they would if I. Don't--"

"I think I'm sleeping now.
Come down to pray. Get down and pray for your brother. If you cared at all.
The house of silent people here.
Me. Gone to the dogs she is my mother say."

"The doorbell ring again again now. This is the day when the heavens and the deluge came. For they're coming to say sorry they're. I've heard about. I brought a wreath. But it's only a few hours since. I hear the hum. Of buzz of them. The everyone who ever knew are coming in are coming in. And someone's making sandwiches and someone's pouring tea.
Not. I'm not. Kneel on the carpet rub my skin to burn."

"I am crouching by your bed they've stripped the sheets the bare. I see that. Mattress. You were just there. I rub it with my hands I. Smooth it. Your. It. Bed. That you sleep on.
Every day. That you're sleeping. Smell that. Every. Day. Come back. Not. That's the. Shush. Is it him? Touch my head. Touch my face. Your poor eyes what have you done? Nothing. Shush shush darling. Leave me ....
Left. I. I am. Left alone."

"... My eyes are burning up the inside of my head I'm. Something gut the insides something. Pulling out the entrails something. There. Something there. He slurp the chew the. Mince. Like a dog sucking marrow in the bone.
That mother of us took to her bed. Hear her there. Screaming there of. My son."

"Going to say what a good death you have made. What a saintly. What a sad. Young one. Gathered to himself the very best. Left. The shit and trash behind I sit on the kitchen chair and someone give me shepherd's pie. I sit on the kitchen chair. I sit on the kitchen chair. I drink my water. I've gone to the blank. I've gone to the. Gone to the.
Eat some more. You'll need your..."