Status Updates From Catastrophically Consequential

“pantaloons abominables” 😂

Whatevuh Happened Tuh Ginger Bocey?. So we're back to the narrator talking like a drunken hillbilly, and taking about some girl (Ginger) jumping off a tower because she took too many drugs and thought she could fly. I'm not quite sure how this ties into the rest of the book, but then again, I didn't understand most of the book.

Alison Eckslacks Wellness. As far as I can tell, this chapter is about Alison, who was dreaming about reincarnation. I think. The who chapter is just her jumping from one scene to the next. It was extremely confusing.

Genevieve Piss Pig. So from what I understand, Genevieve is 'the girl from the future' and (at least at the beginning of the chapter) she is explaining her life to the reincarnated princess, before she's reincarnated. She talks about how she was sorta involved in a piss fetish world, and then she teleports away.

Girl From Future. This was a really weird chapter. Basically the girl from the princess' dream teleports into the tower and starts to ramble about her world and the future. The last part is the chapter is just letting us know that that same princess is reincarnated 900 years later; but has no memory of her past life.

Princess Orca Media. This chapter is about a stuck up self centred princess from medieval times, who spends her time trying to rid herself of the smell from the commoners. She is visited in her dream by a woman from the future who called her out on how insensitive and self-centred she is.

The Downward Spiral of Cindy Cipro. This chapter starts off as a look into the life of Cindy, an introvert who is- unknowingly- into S&M. It ends with her flipping out on people at a New Years Eve party, telling everyone how much she hates them. They, including her two on-and-off lovers, beat her to death with kitchen utensils. What in the world! I didn't see the logical progression.

Bobby Bluetooth. This chapter is about a comedy club and it makes the distaste this culture has over middle eastern and non Christians very obvious.