Status Updates From Feel It All: A Therapist’s ...

“I was starting to understand the ways in which sexuality can be relational—co-created, not just by the way someone touches me, but also by the emotional dynamics between us. During sex, our bodies are not simply responding to the present sensations of skin-on-skin; they are reacting to a lifetime of miseducation, oppressive messaging, and attachment wounds.”

“Neuroception precedes perception. Story follows state.” Before you even recognize that you’ve been triggered, your nervous system has taken a neutral situation—a partner is not turned on—and run with it. A triggered nervous system is fraught with logical fallacies...[and] also stubborn AF. It’s like a dog with a bone, if the bone is a false belief about who you are stemming from previous trauma.

“When we view a body—our own, or someone else’s—as defective, we write it off. We write ourselves off. When we view a body as different, we get creative. We free ourselves enough to ask: What does it look like to accommodate my needs, or this other person’s needs?”