Status Updates From Złoty dom

Those bright small moments pass, and you're left wondering when the next might come along
But there is a difference now, Nella supposes, because she knows that the next moment of happiness will come. Before, in this house, and later in Amsterdam, she could never be sure, and then she was trapped in the knot of her own doubt.

She feels exhausted. She has spent so many hours, weeks and months planning for a day like this. She thinks about Pastor Becker's admonishment: *Go, and think on the time you bave wasted.* She is the biggest squanderer of them all.