Status Updates From Living Dead Girl (The Vampi...

"“It’s okay,” Lucas replied. I was surprised he was being so forgiving. It wasn’t like him."
--
.. Oh dear dog, Im glad this book is now over. The heroine has known this dick for a couple of days, during which he has kidnapped her and what not and now she KNOWS him? At least the reaction is going in the somewhat right direction..

"Some friend! I huffed. What a rotten bitch! "
--
How nice, again. You're such a lovely and spehsul sweetheart Rory!

"Julie was one of those names reserved for snippy blond cheerleaders with pointy noses and big doe eyes. The kind of girls who flat ironed their bleached-blond locks and talked about people behind their backs."
--
Nice...

"Tad clumsily raised his right arm up to reveal a half-full six-pack of beers. “One, two…three,” he carefully counted. “Three left. So I’ve had three.” "
--
Since when has a young lad been that drunk after 3 beers??

"I shouldn’t really be telling you guys this, but I’ve come to consider Aurora somewhat of a friend."
--
... Really?

"I get the impression that Lucas has a pretty high moral code."
--
For a kidnapping stalker you mean?

"“I don’t like the guy.”
“You don’t know the guy,” I retorted
“I know enough,” Henry said. “Let’s see. He breaks into the house multiple times to watch you, kidnaps you and takes you to some remote location while I sit here thinking you’ve been obliterated, then whisks you away on a dinner date (///cut a piece out to shorten this///)
"Yeah, it does kind of make him sound like a douche. ""
---
Yeah, it does.

"She’s dressing like a whore. I just hope she isn’t acting like one, too.”"
--
Oh how much she must love her sister...

Talking about her sister the heroine almost called a whore earlier:
"I thought of Kayla, in her tiny skirt. Maybe I wasn’t the best role model, after all. What if I had led her down this path by secretly buying those jean shorts?"
... sure, you buying short shorts turned your sister's life to the worse...

"“Henry?” he asked. “Why don’t you just marry the guy already and get it over with?”"
--
And there we have the flip side of that shitty insta-love -coin...

"“I got bored while you were making goo goo eyes at The Incredible Hulk.”"
--
Why can't two people be friends in these YA/SNR books? And why are the dudes always more or less territorial apes?

"“Why did you bring me here to tell me this?” I was still hoping he’d confess that he liked me."
--
HE KIDNAPPED YOU JUST A FEW PAGES AGO.

"Girlfriend! I thought I might swoon."
--
HE KIDNAPPED YOU JUST A FEW PAGES AGO.

"Lucas hopped out and opened my door for me. What a gentleman. I tried to conceal the big dopey grin on my face."
--
HE KIDNAPPED YOU JUST A FEW PAGES AGO.

"Or looking like a whore, I thought, picturing Kayla"
--
Who wants to play bingo? Speshul snowflake - CHECK, abusive/kidnapping douche who is the romantic interest - CHECK, slut-shaming - CHECK.

"He was wearing the same long black coat."
--
How unique...

"...had made a point to say more than once that he’d kidnapped me in order to watch me. But what is he watching for? Why are all the men in my life so secretive?"
--
Men - in - your - life?!?! The dude who just kidnapped you is 50% of the men in your life now?

"I had to stop myself from gasping. Judging from his height and voice, I had thought he must be an old man, at least 25 or 30. But the person before me looked closer to my age!"
--
I... I can't even. An old man? Palm -> face.

Our SPEHSUL little snowflake gets kidnapped and...:

"“And it gets boring watching you at the house all day,” he shot back. His voice had turned from mean to playful. I liked his flirty tone, even though I shouldn’t."

"Damn, when did he get so ripped? I hadn’t spent much time staring at his chest over the years, but I knew from the summers we spent swimming at the YMCA that it didn’t use to look like that."
--
Here we go again... Obvious boy toy no. 1.

"And the weirdest of all: my inability to breathe. I couldn’t believe I hadn’t noticed it immediately, it seemed so obvious now."
--
How in the heck does she speak then? Please, someone, educate me...

"You can’t blame me for worrying you might have come back as a zombie. You are undead, after all.”
--
A perfectly normal reaction when seeing your dead friend up and about... Oh dear.