Status Updates From I Await the Devil's Coming

There is no deniying her writhing is abselutely beautifull. The conversation she has with her soul, trying to understand why her soul still has faith, still holds on, when she has given up on life's "meaning". Its a beautifull conversation between the minds rationality and the hearts longings and feelings. "Is that not enough to teach you the lesson of Nothing? ... I will keep my one atom of Faith, said my soul"

It is frightening how much reading this is like someone presenting me with a mirror, that highlights the dark parts of my self. Taking Marys superstition and drama aside, there is the same existential anxiety which I know far too well, and the ego that makes one "never go beyond the self"

This story published in 1902 (I believe) is from a time where a young girl like Mary maclane might never have heard of homosexuality, so it is intresting how she describes her love for the "anemone lady". She describes it as something masculine, wishes to be a man and talk of it as a "man-love". It is very clear that theese are not thoughts on gender identity, but heteronormativity making the love of women masculine

January 24th:
It's no wonder the critics deamed her either a genius or a fool, when that is the two only boxes she offer. She proclaims herself a genius many times, and it is somewhat a lack of originality that the positive critics simply choose to agree with this. I think this is an intresting diary, but Maclane was no genius, and neither a fool. She is simple. She worships the devil like God (not a genius idea).

January 22:
This might just be my reading, but essentially I here an argument given by her, that despite all humanities great inventions we are not progressing in terms of happiness. We become more advanced, but not happier as a species. If we do not become happier over time, we don't really progress, and so why then should we believe in God? If we had spiritual guidance we surely would grow happier, right?

January 20th: Mary describing her love for a 12 year older woman. (Her teacher🫢)
Very cute, very gay

I don't believe in rebirth, but it is astonishing to read a diary of a girl, same age as I am now, but written over 1000 years prior to now, and yet it could have been my own. For this reason, if you know me, please don't read it. It is after all a diary. Perhaps the difference between me and her is, that I wouldn't have published it.