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Allison
is 9% done
Needs editing, stat. It's like a dying, needs a heart transplant patient. Also, the 17 year old sounds more like a 13 year old.
— Jun 28, 2014 08:10PM
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Alizon
is on page 26 of 211
So far, it's a bit dry, but it is a cute story about a girl learning to deal with a new school, new friends and a boy she likes. It could definitely use some editing. I usually complain about comma overuse, but this actually needs more. Also, the flow could have been smoothed out; the style is very choppy.
— May 01, 2014 07:46AM
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