Status Updates From Satan's Sword (Imp, #2)

Yeah everything about the homeless is in really bad taste... since when did Michelle know ab9ut Sam being a demon? Wyatt is manipulative af and speaks like a controlling jealous abuser. Getting tired of him. The first book was better maybe.

Yeah, the abuse/trying to kill Sam thing is not cool. Romanticized abuse. How the hell does he go from this asshole to the one supposedly marrying her?? I do not remember. He's the worst part of the series. Wyatt's insecurity & jealousy is also old and it's only the 2nd book...

Fatphobic comments, the Ted Bundy stuff was in bad taste, characters acting weirdly, Wyatt is more in the way & he's super jealous. Iirc he pretty much disappears soon, maybe after the next book? It was not smooth but what can you do since he's human and Sam will be around other demons, weres, elves etc...

noo this was super fun

“He looked furious, the hands gripping my shoulders tightened painfully. “Then you will summon me if you feel that you want to do this thing.”That was a really odd command. Was this like some kind of intervention? Was he a sponsor that I would turn to when I was feeling down and blue? And how the hell was I supposed to get a hold of him anyway.”

lmao

“Glah ham, shoceacan,” he shouted. The last word came out just as the button bounced on one of my lounge chairs. In a flash, both the chair and the button were gone. I had a moment of amusement thinking of Haagenti’s shock when a large deck chair appeared before him.”

lmao

“You’re fucking kidding me. It’s got to be almost thirty miles from our home. You seriously want to come back and eat these ears and the guy’s victims?”“Okay, sweetie. Just don’t get caught, and make sure you don’t leave any open graves for people to fall into. Put the dirt back like a good boy.”

lmao

“There may be a rotation of staff in the near future. Some personnel changes could occur. I would hate for these to disturb you.”“Personnel changes,”“A terrible shame if these disturbed you, caused you upset, and led you to feel the need to express your views.”“Am I supposed to be disturbed or not? What exactly what is disturbing me? Are you hiring a new barkeep and firing the old one?”

bye

“The bottom one was the one from Ahriman. Only it wasn’t as I had left it. A diagonal line crossed through the entire page in black ink, so hard and deep that it dented the skin parchment, digging a chunk off midway across the page. Written across the top was lovely flowing script in the language both our races shared. It said “NEVER.”

wew

“I wasn’t eating. Not after that sandwich. Typically I’d just remove it from my system, but I was allowing it to digest normally as a kind of penance. It’s good to suffer sometimes; gives you perspective.”

chill

“Your form operates on a lower vibration than mine. Moving from spirit back to your physical form is a huge change in your vibration pattern. Changing that far, that fast, is tiring. I’m tired too, but I’m also a lot older than you. And I have great stamina.”That last part made me nervous. I recognized human sexual innuendo, but I wasn’t sure if it was the same with angels. ”

hmpyright.

“You must have more self control when you’re around me, cockroach.”. The whole morning had become rather surreal and I didn’t really trust my senses right now.“That’s a virtue, not a sin,”“So the ball is in your court with this one, baby. Of course, we both know how much you suck at that particular virtue.”He smiled. He really needed to stop doing that.”

jesus

“He looked down at me in surprise, black flooding his eyes. Evidently his control was equally poor, or maybe he’d just been waiting for me to respond. He inhaled sharply, then grabbed me, crushing me against him, and burying his face in my hair. Yep, we did it again. It was just as incredible without the lengthy tongue foreplay. Apparently “never do this again” was only about thirty minutes. Who knew?”

we

“Before I could reply, I felt the stab of a thousand needles tracing the edge of my ear. He’d licked my ear? And he was still rubbing himself against me, in a way only beings of spirit could do. Too much. It was too much. I was going to fly apart into a million pieces, like the ice we played with. Everything blurred for a moment as I struggled to retain some kind of control.”

hmm

“He was still holding my arms, rubbing himself along me. His power continued to pour through me, even though the water work was done. It was like being immersed in liquid fire. I struggled to remember his question.“You mean like taking a gunshot to the head? No, I haven’t worked on that.”

hm

“. The process gained in speed as we rushed and swirled toward each other. Finally, there was a click of resolution and we existed as one, a translucent white, suspended between our bodies. We held there for what seemed an eternity, and then slowly bled back into our individual colors and our physical forms. Awareness returned to me and I lay on top of Gregory like an overcooked noodle.”

damn thats fucking

“I was soft on Wyatt though. I would suffer so much if he weren’t with me. I’d try to play by his rules to keep him happy. But if that woman in Cleveland got too far out of line, she was going to meet with an unfortunate accident.”

lol

“You are my number one guy Wyatt,” My partner in crime. You’re the most important human to me ever. In over nine hundred years, you are my most favored human, ever.” I kissed the corner of his mouth, and then trailed my lips up along the edge of his jaw line. He hadn’t shaved this morning and the stubble scraped lightly on my lips as I worked my way up to nip at his earlobe.“I’m a good rider, too.”
hm

“Samantha Martin,” I told him. “You can handle him?” I asked, indicating the nasty beast beside me.Tony laughed. “No. But I like riding things I can’t handle.”I may be dense when it comes to the subtleties of human interaction, but I know sexual innuendo when I hear it. Tony was flirting with me. ”

hshsjs

“Elsa, my sometimes riding instructor, had invited me. She was very critical of my riding skills, but was always happy to take my money. I don’t know why I kept going to her. She was not respectful and I wasn’t improving any. I think her verbal abuse reminded me of home and I was a bit homesick.”

lmao

Assuming that % because I'm reading books 1-3 combo and there is no table of contents on the digital stuff.

ANYHOW I'm loving this. I love how Sam is all "I must kill the woman gamer who defeat you so all know you are under my protection" and Wyatt is just "No?!?!? It is a G A M E!!!"
"The humilation!"
"We are humans!"
"...that woman from Cleveland better watch her back..." 🤣