Status Updates From The King of Video Poker

This got better, don’t think it sucks anymore but just wish this was written in a higher register of language. That + some inconsistent characterization but this is taking shape in a way I can respect.

Shocking and arresting premise. Through 30 pages: Not very good. In fact, it’s rubbing me the wrong way in a couple very acute and specific ways that makes this good teach-tape to tell young writers: “maybe do not write like this”

Honestly so depressing so far idk if i can finish it. Not saying bad, it's actually really good, but its painful. I feel like im in this dudes body and it hurts.