Status Updates From Romeo and Juliet

“Out, you green-sickness carrion! Out, you baggage! You tallow-face!”
Once in my life I want to insult someone like this

“How, how, how, how, chopped logic? What is this?”
My thoughts 90% of the time when I’m speaking to other people

“O, then I see that madmen have no ears.”
“How should they, when that wise men have no eyes?”

“Affliction is enamoured of thy parts,
And thou art wedded to calamity.”

“Blistered be thy tongue
For such a wish! He was not born to shame
Upon his brow shame is ashamed to sit.”

“O nature, what hadst thou to do in hell
When thou didst bower the spirit of a fiend
In mortal paradise of such sweet flesh?
Was ever book containing such vile matter
So fairly bound? O, that deceit should dwell
In such a gorgeous palace!”

„O serpent heart, hid with a flowering face!
Did ever dragon keep so fair a cave?
Beautiful tyrant! fiend angelical!
Dove-feathered raven! Wolvish-ravening lamb!
Despised substance of divinest show!
Just opposite to what thou justly seemest-
A damned saint, an honourable villain!”

„Give me my Romeo. And when I shall die,
Take him and cut him out in little stars,
And he will make the face of heaven so fine
That all the world will be in love with night
And pay no worship to the garish sun.“

„O, I am fortune‘s fool!“

„These violent delights have violent ends
And in their triumph die, like fire and powder,
Which as they kiss consume. The sweetest honey
Is loathsome in his own deliciousness
And in the taste confounds the appetite.
Therefore love moderately. Long love doth so.
Too swift arrives as tardy as too slow.“

“Come between us, good Benvolio! My wits faint.”
I love him lmao

“Signor Romeo, bon jour. There’s a French salutation to your French slop.”
Literally what 😭

“If e’er thou wast thyself, and these woes thine,
Thou and these woes were all for Rosaline.
And art thou changed? Pronounce this sentence then:
Women may fall when there’s no strength in men.”

“So soon forsaken? Young men’s love then lies
Not truly in their hearts, but in their eyes.
How much salt water thrown away in waste
To season love, that of it doth not taste!
The sun not yet thy sighs from heaven clears.
Thy old groans yet ring in mine ancient ears.
Lo, here upon thy cheek the stain doth sit
Of an old year that is not washed off yet.”

“Virtue itself turns vice, being misapplied,
And vice sometime’s by action dignified.”

“The earth that’s nature’s mother is her tomb.
What is her burying grave, that is her womb;
And from her womb children of divers kind
We sucking on her natural bosom find,
Many for many virtues excellent,
None but for some, and yet all different.”

“The grey-eyed morn smiles on the frowning night,
Chequering the eastern clouds with streaks of light,
And darkness fleckled like a drunkard reels
From forth day’s pathway made by titan’s wheels.”

“It is my soul that calls upon my name.
How silver-sweet lovers’ tongues by night,
Like softest music to attending ears!”

“Bondage is hoarse and may not speak aloud,
Else would I tear the cave where Echo lies
And make her airy tongue more hoarse than mine
With repetition of ‘My Romeo!’”

“My bounty is as boundless as the sea,
My love as deep. The more I give to thee,
The more I have, for both are infinite.”

Well, do not swear. Although I joy in thee,
I have no joy of this contract tonight.
It is too rash, too unadvised, too sudden;
Too like the lightning, which doth cease to be
Ere one can say ‘It lightens’. Sweet, good night!
This bud of love, by summer’s ripening breath,
May prove a beauteous flower when next we meet.
Good night, good night! As sweet repose and rest
Come to thy heart as that within my breast.

“O, swear not by the moon, th’inconstant moon,
That monthly changes in her circled orb,
Lest that thy love prove likewise variable.
“What shall I swear by?”
“Do not swear at all.
Or if thou wilt, swear by thy gracious self,
Which is the god of my idolatry,
And I’ll believe thee.”

“With love’s light wings did I o’erperch these walls.
For stony limits cannot hold love out,
And what love can do, that dares love attempt.”

“‘Tis but thy name that is my enemy.
Thou art thyself, though not a Montague.
What’s Montague? It is nor hand nor foot
Nor arm nor face nor any other part
Belonging to a man. O, be some other name!
What’s in a name? What which we call a rose
By any other word would smell as sweet.
So Romeo would, were he not Romeo called,
Retain that dear perfection which he owes
Without that title.”

“O Romeo, Romeo! -wherefore art thou Romeo?
Deny thy father and refuse thy name.
Or, if thou wilt not, be but sworn my love,
And I’ll no longer be a Capulet.”

“She speaks.
O, speak again, bright angel! -for thou art
As glorious to this night, being o'er my head,
As is a winged messenger of heaven
Unto the white-upturned wondering exes
Of mortals that fall back to gaze on him
When he bestrides the lazy, puffing clouds
And sails upon the bosom of the air.”

“See how she leans her cheek upon her hand!
O that I were a glove upon that hand,
That I might touch that cheek!”