Status Updates From Muslim Women and Misogyny: ...

Terrible so far - basically a fat load of progressive propaganda, featuring Sofia Rehman from the very beginning with VERY problematic statements, and sneaking in plenty of defensiveness for British "anti-terror" work that is literally systemic Islamophobia on steroids.

So glad I had female Islamic tutors growing up because boy these horror stories.

It took an affair with a Sikh man to realise that sex should be enjoyable, it’s an interesting trajectory as well. And for her true sexual self to be unleashed. And for her to realise that she was never the problem which, of course, her husband going from “1st base to 5th base” tells you exactly how much of a selfish man he is. That’s violent to go from 1st to 5th base in under a minute.

TW / SA - “She lay there, dissociating from her body and wiling him to get it over with”. This is called rape.

I wish I could share Shaista’s story to one of my aunts & her husband who works in the nhs (not directly with patients). Shaista’s husband wouldn’t provide any foreplay & went straight to penetration, but at least, ig, in this case I’m assuming he’s stopped when she told him to stop cos it’s otherwise rape. Then being frustrated about getting her to relax (obviously some just expect you to relax).

Seeing as the community knew that he was unstable & aggressivex they should have told her. Omar Suleiman talks about this in 40 on justice. She’s saying she’ll seek advice from others now. Some are really good at hiding their true nature/feigning being a reformed man.. but I’d gather to say if there’s been a past history of unstable & controlling behaviour towards ex partners, that should be the guide.

Shariah courts not granting divorce when there’s domestic abuse or husbands with a new partner or having a family with a new partner and not giving their wife a divorce… I would drag the court and the man through the mud everywhere. What kind of behaviour is that. What about the verse in the Qur’an where divorce was granted and the verse came down not too long after, but shariah courts taking 10 years? Pssht.

Hmm that’s another thing, crazy and irrational as it is but it is love that compels women to stay in abusive relationships and marriages except that love becomes a trauma bond which is why it’s annoying when people don’t understand why women don’t leave but some women also don’t realise they’re in those kinds of relationships themselves.

This is crazy, this man and his mum asked his wife to take out a 40k loan. I’d want to divorce.

Ah textbook abusers saying they’ve never been angry like this before whereas their history (that they’ve volunteered themselves) says otherwise. Also in this case 70k on a wedding? That’s crazy. Actually crazy. The amount of holidays you could have gone in with that money.

lol. The men that your aunt(s) will set you up with are the worst ones of the bunch and it’s so disorienting they don’t have a clue about who they are until it happens and it’s too disorienting for them to accept even then. ‘Aunty-ji network’ is a hilarious phrasing though.

Momodou Taal has it spot on. Maturity of Muslim communities in the west is limited because there’s a need to free themselves from modernity when in reality deen is interpreted through time & place. It’s a destructive myth.

Rakin Fetuga seems wonderful. An educator, relationship coach, mentor, preaches equality and good treatment of women. These are the kind of men we need representing our deen and at the forefront.

Adam from Bradford says men just want a chill wife who’s gonna get on with his family and look after the house, not give stress or make demands. Ironically, he’s the one projecting and giving demands because women, in Islam, aren’t obligated to look after a man’s family and look after the house. He’s not chill and he’s making demands. He sounds like a really stressful guy.

Kudos to Mizan (@mizancampaigner) speaking up against Andrew Tate. Barely any Muslim did or do.

Okay.. so that’s how Andrew Tate became infamous. He slapped and whipped his former girlfriend on big brother and both claimed it was consensual. A man deriving pleasure from being violent to women is a man that some men and women hold in high esteem? Psssht.

I think we’ve all witnessed this or been on the receiving end of an experience like this: “the urge for self-justification can be overwhelming when you carry the burden of guilt by association.” Essentially friends and relatives who are active bystanders to any hurt you’ve experienced who gaslight you so they can feel better about continuing relations with someone who has harmed you.

Okay and I want to try mizan therapy too!

Ooo energy healing/reiki seems really interesting. I need to do it one day.

Oo, I’ve just discovered Rumi’s Cave through this book, it’s amazing!!!!!

I like that she would show solidarity to women by turning down work with men who she’s been informed don’t behave ethically. I’m still scarred by most south Asian Muslim women, because I’ve just seen far too many support abusers, men who harass, rapists, etc. normalising behaviour that men would never accept from other men themselves. Not everyone’s meant for education, but.. they need it!! Too regressive.

Glad to see discussion on prostitution & how compatible it is with feminism. This is different. I don’t think prostitution is ‘empowering’. You can decorate it as much as you like but the bottom line is it’s servicing men in a patriarchal world. It isn’t compatible with Islam. It takes away honour, love, responsibility, dignity (for the men participating) & it breaks women’s hearts (mean!), so, no!

“Heteronormativity” “transhistorical” “transcultural” “begemonic” girl, what are you saying. I hate academic language and overly intellectual talk. Get to the point, you sound like a snob.

She is just ranting in such an unstructured way without really offering any solutions and I’m assuming it’s to open up discussion but I’m getting bored because it’s mostly regurgitated topics. Identity politics and ranting don’t go hand in hand. Also I’m fed up of intellectual twitter talk like using the words neoliberal, I can’t be bothered to look it up. Give it to me straight.

Mm. I do feel old topics are being regurgitated in this section which doesn’t offer any new perspective really. It’s stating the obvious a lot.

Yep, absolutely education is vital. When it comes to misogyny, the brunt of misogyny I’ve experienced I’ve been able to notice a connection that threads a whole lot of these people together and it’s a serious lack of education beyond what is state sanctioned.