Status Updates From All I Want For Christmas is...

I mean…tis the season 🦖

Lola Faust got me… again

I don’t know what I got myself into but we shall see what comes

Look, the title alone has me dying so i…i gotta

LOVE-SWAMP!???? Noooo 😩🤣

"LOVE SWAMP"

Curiosity got the better of me... I have to know 🤣

“You’re nothing but a… a…” “A what?” “A monsterfucker.”

“Holly marveled at the feeling of fullness, how profound it was to be wrapped around this massive member as if she were wrapping paper and it was a Christmas present, the kind that was too big to fit in the back of the car so she had to drive with the trunk slightly open.”

“My virgin dinosaur,” laughed Holly in a low voice, and it was her turn to lick.”

“He licked her as if she were the only source of dietary salt within a hundred kilometres.”

“Is this okay?” Rocky whispered to her, a glorious fount of meat-breath that bathed her face in a delicate mist of saliva.”

“He’s gonna be emotional about that dick, son.”

“Thaddeus Brock Campbell III, CEO of distressed-capital specialist firm Firebridge Capital Partners, was known in the family as Big Thad. His grandfather, Thaddeus Brock Campbell Jr, was known as Bigger Thad. And his great-grandfather, Thaddeus Brock Campbell Sr, founder of Firebridge, had been known as Biggest Thad.”

“Baby got back and front.”

“She’d always loved the Christmas season, the human determination to create light in the darkest time of year. It felt like a love letter from her ancestors to the world of the living.”

I'm not one to publicly log the weird smut I read, but this is probably the only Christmas book I'm reading this year and the trigger warnings include: management consulting, private equity, dysfunctional families, food trucks, casseroles, imagined alligators, water treatment plants, dictation software, and Etsy, among others. So, I'd be remiss if I didn't share my amusement already.