Status Updates From Deconstructing: Leaving Chu...

Deconstruction can continue to surprise you as things happen that connect you to the good things from your past.

Trust yourself to know what you need next. Trust yourself to name who or what you are.

When we are reconstructing, we might consider how we can be inspired by Jesus without being in bondage to him or to the church.

Note that I have always struggled with the idea of being in love with Jesus anyway. It’s always been much easier to be loved by God the Father.

You know you are healing when you can begin to see the good and the bad of your past, the good and the bad of Christianity. That is what she calls reconciliation, and it may or may not include reconnecting with the church and/or its members.

The Divine Feminine, which is simply her term for the characteristics our culture has attributed to women, is part of all of us, men and women alike. She does not include it in the Godhead but distinguishes it from “the Divine Creator” (110). Her main point here is an invitation to explore the masculine and feminine inside each of us and to distinguish toxic from healthy masculinity.

Be brave enough to call the mistreatment you experienced in church ’trauma.’ You may have been especially vulnerable to it because of other experiences of trauma outside the church. And you may need mental health professionals to support you in your healing.

Note that the author spends a lot of time on definitions in this chapter that I am not sure are particularly helpful.

The Bible doesn’t have to mean what you were taught it meant, and you don’t have to read it if and when it triggers you to do so.

Patriarchy is harmful to all but white men, and we need not only to be released from it, but we need to stop carrying water for it. The author is confident that patriarchy both in the church and in the culture is dying.

Deconstruction requires facing the historical and emotional species for your beliefs, reading beyond what you were previously allowed to and working through the fear of doing these things that evangelicalism instilled in you. Otherwise you’re only rejecting previous beliefs not deconstructing from them.

The wilderness is scary because there is no path, but your journey will be your own. The wilderness is lonely because it feels like you’re the only one there, but it has been reversed by many Christians before you. It is a holy place.
Eventually you may encounter others. They will share their journey while encouraging you to find your own way.

This is actually p. xxiii.
So far, the content is great but the tone is overly familiar. (I don’t like being called “beloved” by a stranger.) Also I am finding copy editing errors.

The beginning of this chapter had me thinking of how I still feel wistful and peaceful when I hear the bells of a church tolling in the evening (possibly the big cathedral downtown) and how even after I left Christianity I would still sometimes wander into the cathedral and just sit there quietly after lighting a candle.

For some reason this makes me think of Doreen Virtue and how before she became a nutjob "born-again" Christian I used to love watching her videos where she'd read a verse from the Bible, give her unique interpretation of it, and pull a card from one of her decks and talked about the meaning of it. These videos were about twenty minutes or so and I used to call them "going to church."

If only I'd come across this book decades ago when I was leaving Christianity, maybe it wouldn't have been so traumatic. It could have been a softer landing while I considered what I *did* actually believe as far as possible religions or spiritualities were concerned.