Status Updates From Only Orlando

I'm with Jude here, slathering chocolate spread on digestives instead of buying chocolate digestives is wrong.

Don't ruin British delicacies

(I'm aware the author is British)

Make this make sense

“I know, baby. I know. But Sir has strict rules. No cum in the car.”

So Orlando isn't allowed to come in the car but as soon as Jude says this, Jude gets his dick out for Orlando to suck??