Status Updates From Finding My Bodyguard (The B...

Silliest shit I’ve read in a long time, I’m out✌🏽

“This nigga,” I mumbled under my breath as a short, light-skinned woman bent over in front of me. She was beautiful, but her doctor had done a horrible job with her Brazilian butt lift. Pulling out my business card, I stuffed it in her pink G String."

It’s 2am and I’m reading this mess lmao😭

“I hope so, nigga. You know niggas get sensitive about they bitches, and you practically had his sucking your dick in the club.”

Please what is this writing?? Like I know it’s meant to be authentic and all but it just reads as if a teen wrote this.

"I wanted something different out of life, so I set out to get it. That didn’t mean I was no pussy ass nigga. I was born to be a killer, heir to the London Cartel. I stayed with my Glock just in case a nigga thought he could try me."

Corny as hell if you ask me, might dnf 😭