Status Updates From How to Speak Life to Your H...

Great reminders, good for husband to husband to read also

Marriage actually becomes deeper, sweeter, and more intimate when we learn to tell our spouse what makes us feel appreciated, wanted, seen, and loved. Yes, most people think it would be better if their significant other magically knew everything they want to hear on their own, but in actuality, it is our mutual vulnerability to talk about such things that makes the entire relationship truly deep and meaningful.

Being careful about what we say and how we say it is not manipulation. It is knowing and honoring the needs of your spouse—needs that may even be temporary in this moment or situation. Asking God how to wrap your words in a way that doesn’t distract from the actual topic at hand and unnecessarily put your spouse on the defensive is just plain wise.

The idea is to ask God how your words should be spoken so that your husband can hear what you really want to say.

Before we say something to our husbands, we should stop and quickly pray, “God, should I say it?”

Before we utter a truth, can it be said in a way that shows patience, kindness, genuine humility, honor and respect, unselfishness? In a way that doesn’t express anger? In a way that doesn’t bring up all his past mistakes? that isn’t aimed at winning at all costs, but finds joy in mutual peace informed by truth? In a way that still protects him, trusts him, never stops hoping in him, and never gives up on him?

Love may be gentle, but it is not weak. Love may be tactful, but it is not withdrawn. Love may be patient, but it is not complacent. The world defines love as offering someone complete approval, agreeing with their viewpoint wholeheartedly and never questioning them—because doing so would break a newly formed sacred commandment of this world.

Keep asking God for the best and creative ways to encourage your man as a husband and, if you have kids, as a dad. God loves to answer these prayers, and he will often use you as you speak words suited to your husband.