Status Updates From Captive Heart

I am trying really hard to finish this story.

"'Here's the plan. We go down there.' Gideon pointed to a dense section of jungle, indicating the route they were going to take." That's a good plan. Simple. Easy to remember. I like it.

"Slowly, he slid his cock against her ass and she gasped, spreading her legs in clear invitation...Shifting in Gideon's grip, she arched her backed in a clear invitation, aching to feel him inside her, filling her." FTLOG, dude! How many clear invitations does she need to give you in one paragraph? Put us all out of our misery, please.

So, a woman bangs into her when she's coming out of the bathroom stall, steals her bag, her entire and only bag, not just her wallet, and she doesn't notice until the dude asked her where her bag is when she walks out? Fucking, really? Really!? FML! why am I reading this?

"She was struck by the intensity of his gaze, the pale blue eyes seeming to look through her."

I thought his eyes were grey? I'm pretty sure you said that a few pages ago.

Loc 134: "Lainey blinked; his eyes were light grey, almost shimmering silver in the sunlight."

Yup. Thought so. O.o

Uh, first of all, why is her ex bf giving her a hug after her brother gets kidnapped awkward? And what exactly does she think she's going to do that the ex-military dude she hired can't? And if he didn't want her to go so bad, why not just say, if you come, I'm not taking the job? I swear, the phrase TSTL was coined for this chick.

So, he took care of her, paid the rent, expenses, her credit cards, while she went to grad school. Then she gets a job & uses her entire first paycheck to buy a new car. & he's an asshole b/c instead of jumping up & down he started to give her a 'lecture' about responsibility. So she complains she's not a child, breaks up w/him b/c he was taking away her independence & kicks him out. Me no like this bitch. -_-

Loving this so far! :D