Status Updates From Wiederholung

Soon, however, as early as Monday morning, my Saturday transgressions of beer drinking and tongue-kissing appeared in a different and more distressing light, how easily I had broken the commandments, and again I felt the fear of impending corruption which mum had succeeded in instilling in me, a fear that I had not been fearful enough when faced with danger, what was next for me, drugs and sudden death?

But later she would knock on my door, open it, astand in the doorway and accuse me of being the cause of all her worries...the next day the same thing would happen, hysteria and screaming and arguing, and she didn't understand that she fed what she was trying to prevent, that her fears and the promises she forced me to make homed in on and pointed to something I wanted deep down something I desired.