Status Updates From The Build-a-Boyfriend Project

i’m going to be shocked if this book doesn’t have some kind of third act breakup that makes me lower my rating

i’m stealing the apple pencil. you bitches are too morally upstanding for me.

i should’ve fucking known better! i feel stupid. of course, michael is a piece of shit. why did i think it was even possible that he wasn’t? please quit!

they fucked but now peter is going on a date with another man. just confess your feelings you idiots! what did you think that shit was? no strings? fucking stupid!

i can’t believe michael actually liked it. no, liar revealed? 🤞🏾

why are you doing this!? just quit! quit! i’m so scared for real.

thank you, peter! walking is fun!

eli, are you trying to use transphobia to get out of a blowjob? no is full sentence, babe!

you almost gave me a panic attack!

i’m not feeling it, mr. krabs. i mean, i like peter but i’m kinda surprised that eli likes peter already. i mean to the point that fucking someone else would make him feel guilty anyway.

my favorite dish is? mugs. — peter, my sweet idiot boy!

i’m not excited for the liar reveal. i’m dreading it.

anyone but you? you made the choice to watch anyone but you? you like that movie? i don’t think i trust you, eli!

not convinced these two should be together

Owo

Peter… works out, but still has a soft body with a bit of fat… socially ackward AF… has no idea how to PEOPLE… but seems INCREDIBLY sweet…

and basically looked like a kicked puppy because he knew he messed up his and Eli’s first date.

MY HEART! 🥰😫😭

so I see we’re squishing everything into the last twenty percent