Status Updates From The ADHD Women's Wellbeing ...

Access your feelings: ikigai

The polyvagal theory, page 72

Things that move you up or down the ladder, page 84–85

Window of tolerance

Calming breathwork
* Box breathing (square breathing)
* Diaphragmatic breathing (belly breathing)

Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT): tapping

A few questions to ask yourself when you're feeling uncertain include the following:
• What if it DID work out?
• What's the worst that would happen if it failed or did not go according to plan?
• What signs in your body can you recognise when it's either a ‘hell yeah’ or a ‘yuck, no’? Note these down with brief examples… what are you feeling when you do something fun or something against your values or interests?

The right conditions to thrive
When we buy a houseplant, there are always instructions on where to position it. We take notice, and pop it in a space where it will flourish. Why, as humans, do we not afford ourselves the same treatment? Why are we expected to all thrive in the same situations, and when we don't we are blamed?

We have to acknowledge that our energy is finite. This is true for everyone, but especially so for those of us with ADHD. We can't give what we don't have: that leads to burnout.

…as a non-negotiable I book in enough space and decompression time to recover. Being intentional with recovery time is vital for neurodivergent people. This strategy helps us recentre and ground ourselves instead of self-sabotaging all our ambitions and plans with a constant cycle of burnout.

Something that has helped me over the past few years is understanding my patterns and acknowledging that if I have powered through using my reserves to get over the line, I need to recognise the toll it takes on me afterwards and prepare for this. So instead of scheduling in another similar day straight after, I accept that if I have a crazy day or two…"

…depleted, prioritise rest and relaxation. It may not work every time, but the more that you can practise mindfully engaging with tasks, the easier this process will become.

…honest). If the task is something that needs to be done and you're enthusiastic and feel you have the energy to do it, then just go for it. In this case, make sure that you have allowed time afterwards to recuperate. lf the task doesn't need to be completed immediately, ask yourself whether you can redirect your energy to something else, and if you're already feeling…

…can it wait and be filed for a later date?
• Am I medicated (maybe caffeinated) and nutritionally nourished, and have I slept enough to tackle this task?
• Am I interested or motivated to do this right now?
• Do I have the energy stores to do this right now?
• Can I redirect myself to something that needs my attention more (this may be allowing myself time to rest)?
Give some thoughts to your answers (and be…

To get brain-heavy tasks done, I have to do them my way, riding the waves of adrenaline and dopamine. Sometimes I use my ‘brain-heavy’ strategy, but use it intentionally and I know how to take extra care of myself when it is happening. To tackle ‘brain-heavy’ tasks in this way, ask yourself the following questions.
• Is this something that needs to be done straight away? Or…

…to become overwhelmed and leave tasks until the very last minute. Procrastination often causes even more anxiety, and the stress from an overactive brain can affect memory and attention to detail, too. It's a self-perpetuating cycle of stress, worry, internal criticism, and shame.

…function and working memory challenges. We can forget basics, like hydrating, eating, and fresh air, and struggle with time management so are constantly clock watching. Task switching and interruptions can also cause a low-level hum of anxiety that is subtle but prevalent enough to make us snappy, impatient, and irritable with the people we value most. All of this can cause us…

While everyone is guilty of occasionally overworking, our ADHD brains tend to hyperfocus, which often leads to us working in a way that is exhausting and unsustainable in the long term. We are passionate and purpose-driven people, and with this comes the psychological pressure of trying to do it all, all the time… All of this overworking and overcompensating is made even harder because of our neurodiverse executive…

…our nervous systems have to be nurtured or we become depleted. We can resist this need and keep falling into these boom-and-bust cycles, or we can start sending ourselves some love and then tweaking our lives to work in alignment with our nervous systems.

…with our restless, whirling minds. How could they? / We need to learn how to slow down and remember that our sensitive systems need frequent rest and recharging to function at their best. We don't question needing to recharge our phones, laptops, and cars, so why do we question ourselves for needing to rest, decompress, and have a day off? Our energy and…

We need to be aware of the self-perpetuating cycles that are leading us to burnout. We may enjoy our ADHD enthusiasm, wanting to do and achieve it all—but look at some of the challenges we're up against. Our expectations of what we ‘should’ be doing are out of alignment with what we can realistically achieve with our time, current responsibilities, and dopamine levels. Our bodies and nervous systems can't keep up…

Breathing slowly helps to slow the fight-or-flight sympathetic nervous system response by telling the body it's time to activate the rest-and-digest parasympathetic system instead. When we breathe slowly, we are telling our bodies that the threat is over and it's time to reduce the cortisol and send blood to our gut to help with digestion, reducing the physical signs of tension and engaging the parasympathetic NS.

“The achievements [individuals with ADHD] do attain often come at the cost of significant stress and are unsustainable in the long term.”
— Dr Asad Raffi, founder of Sanctum Healthcare, medical director, and lead consultant psychiatrist

Just because we have 94 ideas a day, it doesn't mean we need to implement them all at the same time. ADHD women can have a lot of drive, and this is a good thing! Perfectionism can also drive the internal pressure we put on ourselves. But our energy levels simply cannot match what goes on in our brains. We need more downtime to help offset our endless and exhausting internal motor.

…building restlessness that other girls I knew just didn't have. My hyperactivity wasn't very easy to detect on the outside, but inwardly it felt like rising lava, ready to blow and destroy anyone in its wake… My ADHD presented subtly, yet it still managed to impact my education and career. I could feel my brain ticking away, when all I wanted it to do was shut down and be quiet.

I never understood why I was so sensitive to stress, why my anxiety would show up at the smallest provocation, and why I would lose my rag like a four-year-old having a temper tantrum while others around me could remain so calm. I sensed a build-up of physical energy that I couldn't explain. I often had to get myself moving first thing in the morning and ideally again in the afternoon to successfully expel the…

While some females do display some of the rambunctious traits we often see in males, we now understand that ADHD can show up for them in a variety of other ways. This might include perfectionism, insomnia, forgetfulness, disorganisation, daydreaming, overthinking, restlessness, overwhelm, emotional dysregulation, mood swings, and a quiet lack of concentration.

How are you feeling? *Really* feeling? Living most of your adult life with undiagnosed Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD) can feel like walking around in the wrong shoes while carrying a backpack full of rocks, wondering why you're finding things tough. It can be soul-destroying and it can burn you out.