Status Updates From Sinful Pleasure (Sinful Ser...

‘It was like he was wearing a uniform that screamed “bodyguard”, which somehow, suited him.’ GIRL, he IS a bodyguard! You actually wrote his character as a bodyguard character?! Why makes these types of obvious statements?! Why not write: the way he wore that black pants, shows and sunglasses suited his bodyguard persona. That would be more accurate.

‘[…] looking like he hadn’t slept a wink. Seven in the morning, and there he was, looking fresh and wide-eyed […]’

Honey. When someone looks like he hasn’t slept a wink, they have bags under their eyes. They aren’t freshly showered and wide-eyed.

I’m already afraid for the future dnf. Why do authors spend pages repeating the same thing all while giving the FMC the character trait of being stupid and slow?