Status Updates From The Wrong Witch to Hex With...

She felt closer to her sisters now. Or at least, what they were to each other now felt more genuine.

Their grief had been a fractured bone, badly set, that needed to be broken again to heal.

Doug?!

If a Loch Ness monster can be Susan, this thing can be Doug.

They were dragged back down by those tentacles, to be eye level with a leviathan. This was a monster that lurked at the edges of the library's tomes - with clawed tentacles, soulless eyes, and a beak that looked like it could slice a person in half. It was an Eldritch horror. In Michigan.

Linney decided to call him Doug. It made him slightly less terrifying.

I wasn't counting on your using a picnic basket as a war hammer.

I mean, no one would, really.

Life is meant to be lived, not reshaped as an apology.

"Did you just throw the dice at me?!" Gray asked his grandfather.

Grandpa Dab just sat there, staring at Gray, then disappearing in a puff of disappointed ghost smoke.

"OK. I am trying to follow your advice and be strategic. But it would help if you would just open your mouth to talk to me instead of this silent passive-aggressive Hamlet's dad routine."

Magic has its purposes, but sometimes a man has to put his trust in barbiturates.

Having a sibling? Everybody acts like it's this big blessing. Which, OK, sure, it is. It's nice to have someone else who grew up with your parents and knows exactly why your particular brand of weird is flavored the way it is. But it's also a huge pain in the @$$ to have someone act like they know you better than you know yourself.

You mean to tell me a ghost would waste eternity screaming at people who've been dead for almost a century?

I've found that female rage doesn't really have an expiration date. Or a limit.

Archaeologists. Everyone things it's all mummies and forbidden tombs and Indiana Jones adventures. But it's mostly sitting around in hotels waiting for permission to dig in places you probably shouldn't be.

My siblings are quite a bit older than me. I think my parents were done parenting by the time I came along.

They can file all sorts of paperwork. But that doesn't mean it'll work. It'll just cause all sorts of headaches for the business you're trying to run.

Good for you! Iggy needs boundaries.

Whose side are you on?

Both sides! I want you both happy and successful and protected by paperwork.