Status Updates From The Grump Next Door (Steele...

Are you going to order or just waste more of my time?” Unbelievable. This motherfucker had some nerve. I didn’t understand how my initial assumption of him at the hotel could have been so utterly wrong. “Your brother’s a nice guy.” I grabbed my purse and shopping bag before sliding off my barstool. I didn’t make it a habit to stay somewhere I wasn’t wanted. “Too bad it doesn’t run in the family.”

Still, when my girl had a craving for sushi, I didn’t care if I had to drive thirty minutes… The fact that it was raining and that I didn’t know this area well yet meant the whole ordeal took longer than I’d planned. It was dark by the time I got home. And I’d been right—this long, winding driveway was creepy as fuck when there was only enough light from my headlights to cast eerie shadows along my way.

“Well, I’d hate to waste them.” She flashed me a smile. “How long did you say we had?” I glanced at the clock. “Down to twelve.” “How about I add an extra eight? What can you do in twenty?” “Oh, trouble.” I gripped her waist and tugged her to sit astride me, her hands braced on my chest… And I intended to deliver. “You’re going to be sorry you asked that.”

If I had a dollar for everytime he said “needy p🐱ssy” or “sweet little c🥑nt” I could afford to solve world hunger,
I’m not a prude, I’m just not ovulating.

My house will never be cleaner tomorrow when I finish this off.

This man really does love to eat 🐱

Do I love that she calls him “my big guy” no, but do I love that he’s 6ft6 and grumpy? Yes. After spiraling the other day this was honestly exactly what I needed, I might actually get some housework done with this audio.