Status Updates From Empress Theresa

I hate my life and Norman. Norman, if you read this, fuck you

A woman doesn’t mind dying so much if she knows her body will be preserved

So I found out that the NUCLEAR BOMB ISN'T THE WEIRDEST THING TO HAPPEN and i cannot believe Norm published this book

I'm regretting my life decisions right now- thanks Ben

This can't be real. Surely, this wasn't a legitimate attempt at writing a book.

I don't know if I'll be able to do this.

This shit is 🎵the woooooorst🎵

Ngl I skimmed most of this

Ah yes I have to save the world but first I must unwind in Paris which it turns out is stupid and bad and so I went to Dublin instead and it was way better and only lasted three paragraphs!

Why am I reading chapters full of word salad