Status Updates From Empress Theresa
Empress Theresa by
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Alex
is on page 321 of 468
1. How on earth did Israel get involved with this
2. A world with no night sounds genuinely awful
3. Why does Theresa get so weirdly specific with some of her measurements
4. Theresa no
— 51 minutes ago
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2. A world with no night sounds genuinely awful
3. Why does Theresa get so weirdly specific with some of her measurements
4. Theresa no
Alex
is on page 249 of 468
"It was nice that I wouldn't have to kill half a billion Asians. So much for that problem." Theresa what the actual fuck
— Feb 11, 2026 09:17AM
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Alex
is on page 203 of 468
Theresa NONE OF THIS IS HOW PHYSICS WORKS
— Feb 10, 2026 09:08AM
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Alex
is on page 170 of 468
" 'Why do Americans visit Paris?" I asked.
"I don't know. They have no cheerleaders here."
It was only a tired old city. American cities offered as much.
"I miss chipmunks," I said.'
This is so delightfully insane. What on earth.
— Feb 10, 2026 06:37AM
3 comments
"I don't know. They have no cheerleaders here."
It was only a tired old city. American cities offered as much.
"I miss chipmunks," I said.'
This is so delightfully insane. What on earth.
Alex
is on page 114 of 468
I am unironically obsessed with "I was born. I had a good time. I was vaporized by a bomb." This is one of the funniest things I've ever read. I'm curious to see where else this book can go, aside from everywhere.
— Feb 06, 2026 12:33PM
4 comments
Bree Shaw
is 47% done
I hate my life and Norman. Norman, if you read this, fuck you
— Sep 15, 2025 12:40AM
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Brendan Kirwan
is on page 28 of 418
A woman doesn’t mind dying so much if she knows her body will be preserved
— Aug 27, 2025 04:44AM
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Bree Shaw
is 15% done
So I found out that the NUCLEAR BOMB ISN'T THE WEIRDEST THING TO HAPPEN and i cannot believe Norm published this book
— Aug 11, 2025 12:15PM
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Bree Shaw
is 5% done
I'm regretting my life decisions right now- thanks Ben
— Aug 06, 2025 05:46AM
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Katherine Raines
is 76% done
This can't be real. Surely, this wasn't a legitimate attempt at writing a book.
— Jul 26, 2025 10:41PM
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Katherine Raines
is 15% done
I don't know if I'll be able to do this.
— Jul 25, 2025 05:11AM
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B.N. Evans
is on page 171 of 418
Ah yes I have to save the world but first I must unwind in Paris which it turns out is stupid and bad and so I went to Dublin instead and it was way better and only lasted three paragraphs!
— Mar 15, 2025 10:32PM
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B.N. Evans
is on page 157 of 418
Why am I reading chapters full of word salad
— Feb 22, 2025 09:08PM
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