Status Updates From Empress Theresa

This fucking prick is the reason I had to lower my challenge goal, this is tortureeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

Usually I read slow to take in all the details of the book and think about its themes; I’m reading this slowly because it fucking sucks.

Does anyone else find it weird that the BBC can just whip up a montage of the past two weeks' events in like 2 hours for one girl? And how the fuck did they get access to footage of a Congress hearing anyway?

The Raptor is NOT a bomber.

I really don't know how he managed to stretch this shit to 418 pages

I really wonder if this guy even proofread his shit beforehand, because this sounds like a fucking parody

God help us all.

How on earth did we get to "let's liberate North Korea"????? I mean, I know HOW because I am reading the book and kind of following the plot, but ... I have so many questions for Norman.

1. How on earth did Israel get involved with this
2. A world with no night sounds genuinely awful
3. Why does Theresa get so weirdly specific with some of her measurements
4. Theresa no

"It was nice that I wouldn't have to kill half a billion Asians. So much for that problem." Theresa what the actual fuck

Theresa NONE OF THIS IS HOW PHYSICS WORKS

" 'Why do Americans visit Paris?" I asked.
"I don't know. They have no cheerleaders here."
It was only a tired old city. American cities offered as much.
"I miss chipmunks," I said.'

This is so delightfully insane. What on earth.

I am unironically obsessed with "I was born. I had a good time. I was vaporized by a bomb." This is one of the funniest things I've ever read. I'm curious to see where else this book can go, aside from everywhere.

I hate my life and Norman. Norman, if you read this, fuck you

A woman doesn’t mind dying so much if she knows her body will be preserved