Status Updates From The Other A in LGBTQIA+: An...

in my ARC era

“Fabricating a crush to fit in with peers is an example of consciously doing gender. Having a crush is perceived as something that girls do. Therefore, young girls often believe they need to have a crush to be, blend in with, or pass as a girl. The inability for romance to come naturally to a girl or woman may lead to feelings of failure or disconnect from womanhood and girlhood.”

‘Similarly, within aromantic communities, the focus will oftentimes shift from romantic relationships to friendships, with aromantic people declaring they can “still form friendships” or “still love their friends,” etc. This in turn promotes a norm called platonormativity, which is “the societal expectation to have friends, that everyone feels platonic love, and that everyone wants to have friends.”’

“Like asexuality, the world gives aromantic people many reasons to feel broken and alone. We hear it indirectly, as society constantly tells us that romance is inherent and essential to the human condition. We hear it directly, through mockery, denial, and social media dogpiles. Being aromantic is just some fad, they declare, a fad we made up to feel special....”