Status Updates From ليال بيضاء

anyway, this is not for the weak.

and maybe or maybe not finish it...I'd like to finish it and not finish it at the same time because the temptation to keep reading it is too much but Im also scared for what comes next and I want to savour it and its my first time reading it and I'll never get it back even if I reread it, it wont ever be the same.

I am taking a break from this because of homework (alr that's true but also mainly an excuse).... I just want to treasure every word and its ending so soon and I'm so scared for Nastika's story too!! anyway, i'll probably resume this in the evening/night (peak time for reading Dostoyevysky)

rereading and how i love this book

Nasteka...at least you have him...but I have no one you see. but I know your loneliness and you have just met him but...at least you did at some point. anyways, I hope your history does not wreck me so much as his did to me.

Nasteka, please spare my soul...

now in this chapter Nasteka is going to tell her history and I am so so scared but also intrigued to hear about her story...I just hope its not as sad as his'. but he fact that another soul understood him in such a level to not only listen to him and that being enough without saying any words but also to confide in him....where can I find this love?? where can I find this myself???

am I ever going to be this satisfied with an author's prose and writing and the way of executation again?? am I ever going to see punctuation and exclamation marks being used this way??? but still, I am never going to be able to forgive myself for not finishing this...

I don't want this book to end so I'm reading this chapter by chapter and taking breaks in between; I cant bear the pain of reading it all at once...
( I guess I am not strong enough for that) but most of all, I'm afraid of it to end; I'm afraid of the feeling I'll be left with after this ends...who's going to fill the empty void of my heart again after this book leaves me raw and empty???

second night was definitely about the narrator opening up to Nastenka (whom we now learn is her name). and the things he said; about being a dreamer, about his loneliness that he feels, about feeling like not having lived, about being in the same position as the year before and nothing changing yet feeling like you used to be happier then... it deeply reasonated with me in a level I didn't think a book could...

....

what did I just read