Status Updates From Frost: A Monstrous Christma...

I never wanna read the words “my needy nub” ever again

“Sharks are disgusting monster creatures.”


How fucking dare you

“Creamsicle,” he moans. “My fucking favorite.”


and the cringe dirty talk continues

Don’t get any ideas if you read this book— using icicles as a dildo is DANGEROUS, please save yourself from an embarrassing ER trip

“The cold never bothered me much anyway”

bye 💀

“cockcicle” 💀

“I’ve never thought of myself as a daddy kink kind of girl but something about this monster makes me want to be as wild as he is”

Idk how to break this to you but daddy kinks are so basic I fear. that’s not wild and kinky, it’s bordering on vanilla.

“His tongue dives between my parted folds and bliss rocks through me. His forked muscle slides from tip to hole at an achingly slow pace.”


I’m sorry, tip of what? Tip of your pussy?? Do you mean top? Your clit? What does tip mean in regards to your pussy?? Help I’m so confused

I literally cannot with how dumb she is

“the neckline torn and ripped”


I feel like you didn’t need to use 2 synonyms there

So the fmc Elisa is supposed to be staying with a girl named Anna but instead is kidnapped by a man named Hans. I’m cool with retellings but usually the author states that they’re retellings, I did not know I was about to read Frozen smut

Ok smut authors: why do you keep referring to hard cocks as “angry”?

Hang on so you suspect he drugged you earlier to kidnap you and so to prove you’re “not some meek, weak little thing,” your plan is to accept shots of alcohol he poured for you??

Which is probably also drugged because you say you’re not a lightweight but you already feel the room spinning after only a couple shots?? (she just thinks the alcohol there is unusually strong)

“Did this idiot just call a centuries-old god of frost and snow, a demon of the winter woods, a monster of ice and blood, a dude?”


Well you’re in human form, how would he know you’re not human?

“Too bad for him, my girl’s not dumb.”


but… she is…??? 😭

“The urge to throw her to the ground and spank her, show her what happens when you sass Daddy, is almost too strong to ignore.”


This is your first time (second time if you count her dream) ever speaking to her bro

This is just 2010s-era wattpad Jack Frost x Elsa fanfic

“Maybe that’s what my little angel needs right now—a daddy to take care of her.”


I mean she was drugged and kidnapped, I don’t think ageplay monster sex is her top priority

Look I don’t like any of those books/authors you listed either (I am in fact a huge Colleen Hoover hater) but I hate when authors shit on other books in their books for kinda no reason. What does the Twilight series and people liking to read about “glittery vampires” have to do with anything that’s happening rn?? You just wanted that extra “I’m not like other girls” emphasis 😒

She tries every door in the cabin before the front door which conveniently isn’t locked 💀

how tf would you know? also not every family is the same…

My god stfu what are you even saying

God she’s stupid

This gets pretty good reviews so I keep waiting for it to get good…

the writing feels very juvenile
also kinda wattpad-y