Status Updates From The Summer Oath

SPOILER: StarCrossed = an app to help people reconnect with the ones who “got away”

KingNotes: a study guide for kids who don’t have the attention span to even read the *Spark* notes

You can’t be picky with a Groupon. You can’t save 65% by making choices.

Ma’am, you don’t have to take your shoes off. This isn’t TSA.

You don’t have security?

We figure if you have the money for a chopper from the Hamptons to Manhattan, we kinda trust the only people they’re hurting are themselves.

There’s nothing like a romantic vehicular chase inching along at half a mile an hour.

The real Livia has big main character energy and deserves the love she writes for all the women in her books.

I just scored a 172 on my last practice LSAT. Apparently I have way more brain cells than I need. So let’s kill some!

I guess we both know that even though this is comfortable, it’s not as good as it should be.

She got sick.

I’m sorry for your loss.

Oh, I didn’t lose her. She’s the first thing I think of when I wake up and the last thing I think of when I go to sleep.

(Zara’s) King is 27 years old.

How can someone be a romance writer when she doesn’t have a heart?

You’re scared of the dark, but you actively seek out ghosts.

What can I say? I’m a woman of contradictions.

This is a writer shouldn't do athletic things. Being physically frail is part of our job.

Climbing the tree did not help me figure out where we are, but the view from up here is amazing! You have got to come up.

Are you kidding? For me, trees are not for climbing - trees are for sitting under and discovering gravity.

How expensive can a daytime ghost tour be? Do ghosts even come out in the daytime?

Well, that's the question we're all seeking the answer to, isn't it?

Reginald: You're what, 30?

Zara: I know, I'm rather young. But I'm mature!

Reginald: No, you're too old! I'm not wasting my prime years on expired goods.

Michael (head waiter): Be like a shark!

Zara: Attack reckless white people?

Michael: Always be moving! You know what happens when sharks stop moving?

Zara: They find peace?

Michael: They die!

Must be nice to be retired.

I'm not retired. I'm just ... not working and bored.

Do I have beach waves?

More like "beach bird's nest".

"And no offense ..."

"Cue offensive thing!"

I know - it's no "War and Peace". But people actually *finish* romance novels!