Status Updates From Pet Rocks (Beacon 23, #2)

“I’ve been studying under Professor Bockman for three years. He’s a philosopher.” Something clicks. Something funny. "Wait,” I say. "Don’t—” Rocky warns. "Are you telling me—?” "Ah, hell,” Rocky says. "You’re a philosopher’s stone?” Seriously losing my shit over here. The nouvelle is so funny.

Rocky. Hahah I'm actually laughing while reading this entire chapter.

"You need . . . like little pebbles to munch on or something?”

"Check it" "In other words, go out into the vacuum of space, see what’s alive out there, and report back if it doesn’t kill you first. Fucking NASA. In a horror movie, when everyone is hugging their shins and shouting for the main character to turn and run, or crawl under the bed, or call the cops, or grab a gun, NASA would be the dude in the back shouting, 'Go see what made that noise! And take a flashlight!'"

:)

“Where are we?” the rock asks. “Beacon 23,” I say. “Sector eight. On the outer edge of the Iain Banks asteroid field, between the ore rim and—” “Yeah, jeez, okay. The middle of nowhere, I get it. :D

This is a wonderful story by Hugh Howey ! Found a rock :)