Status Updates From The Sword of Summer (Magnus...

Halfborn’s shaggy eyebrows achieved orbit. ‘Squirrel as in squirrel squirrel?’
‘Squirrel squirrel,’ Mallory confirmed. ‘And I’m surrounded by moron morons.’

I scanned the bookshelves: my favourite fantasy and horror authors from
when I was younger – Stephen King, Darren Shan, Neal Shusterman,
Michael Grant, Joe Hill; my favourite graphic-novel series – Scott Pilgrim,
Sandman, Watchmen, Saga

OMGOMGOMG NEAL SHUSTERMAN MENTIONED???

The perks included a sauna, a hot tub, a walkin wardrobe, a walk-in shower and a walk-in toilet.

h-how would that even work??

People tended to spell it Mangus, rhymes with Angus. I always corrected
them: No, it’s Magnus, rhymes with swag-ness. At which point they would
stare at me blankly.

SWAGGY MAGGIE STELLA I GET IT NOWWWWW

FLOOM! I hit the water.
Then I died. The end.

the end!
*sighs*
this story was GREAT

Before he could recover, my sword leaped upward and slashed his face.
With a howl, Surt stumbled back, cupping his hands over his nose

omg voldy moldy has a twin nowwww <3333

In short, it was the saddest, flimsiest, most disgusting piece of scrap I’d ever magically pulled from a river.
‘At last!’ Randolph lifted his eyes to the heavens. I got the feeling that, if not for his bum knee, he might’ve knelt on the ground and offered a prayer to the non-existent Norse gods.
‘Yeah.’ I hefted my new prize. ‘I feel safer already.’

me too 😊

Randolph fished for quarters in his cupholder. ‘All these years, it was so
much closer than I realized. I just needed you!’
‘I’m definitely feeling the love.’

awwwww i feel it too!! 🥰

Don’t Accept Rides from Strange Relatives!

2 seconds later

‘Well, then,’ I said, ‘let’s go for a ride.’

THREE
Don’t Accept Rides from Strange Relatives

*nods*
hmm ty for the valuable advice

Behind me, a deep voice said, ‘Hello, Magnus.’

ooOOOooOOOooOOOoo ominous . . .

‘I can’t explain Randolph’s actions. I never could, Annabeth.’

WHATTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!??!?!?!?!?!?!??!?!?!?!?!?!?!

By the way, I’ve been homeless for the past two years.
Some of you may think, Aw, how sad. Others may think, Ha, ha, loser!

omg lol

ONE
Good Morning! You’re Going to Die

oh lovely

I’m pulling a Lost Hero on this (I CANT LOCK IN)