Status Updates From Mountain Murder Mystery

Distant third person POV. I’m struggling to decipher if it’s omniscient, because I have little clue as to who our narrator is. So far it feels like Clue.

A Vicar of Dibley reference came out of nowhere... particularly in a US set book based around Thanksgiving...

so bad, y'all. so bad.

Ok. So. Murders done been happenin aaaaand you're all talking about thanksgiving dinner. In the same house where the murders occurred. *blinks*

Yawwwwwwwwwwwwwwn

Nothing is happening in this story! Oh wait, I'm sorry, we're discussing raccoon for dinner. NOTHING. IS. HAPPENING.

Soooo security training and a love of maps are why you can find your way around a big house? *smh* this book lol, omg wow. And not in a good way.

So we've gone from the weather channel, to someone getting a job at dairy queen, to the reseeding schedule (?!?!?) for flowers ruined when digging up some septic tank had to happen. What in love of seven hells is this?? Omg lol

What's with the weather channel obsession? And this is clearly a contemporary, but it reads like a prim and proper 1950's I don't even know what.

I can't figure out if this is supposed to be some kind of spoof, comedy. I was laughing when the first person was killed it was so comical. Now, number two dies, and their biggest concern is worrying about of (drinking) glasses if it keeps up. lol.

So far this story reads like the script for a play. With all the 'telling' there's no telling who’s point of view it is supposed to be in. It could be anyone’s or everyone’s.