Status Updates From A General History of the Py...

“In the Way he met with a Pyrate Sloop…commanded by one Major Bonnet, lately a Gentleman of good Reputation…Teach, funding that Bonnet knew nothing of maritime Life…took the Major on aboard his own Ship, telling him…it would be better…live easy, at his Pleasure, in such a Ship as his.”
(Our Flag Means Death writers: furious scribbling)

“And if Power and Command be the Thing which distinguishes a Prince, these Ruffians had all the Marks of Royalty about them, nay more, they had the very Fears which commonly disturb Tyrants, as may be seen in the extream Caution they took in fortifying the Places where they dwelt…Thus Tyrant like they lived, fearing and feared by all.”

So Captain Avery stole his ship from his own drunk captain, stole treasure from some other pirates “allies”, then tried to sell diamonds and… “when he desired them to come to an Account with him, they silenced him, by threatening to discover him, so that our Merchants were as good Pyrates at Land as he was at sea”. The irony…

These letters between an English Lieutenant and Spanish governor are so funny. The hostility keeps escalating, like: “Hey, hand over the pirates” “What pirates? BTW, they’re Catholic now.” “I’m gonna treat YOUR ships like pirates, since it is part of your religion to protect them” “Try me, bitch! I’ll do the same to you!”…And then signing off either “Your humble servant” or “I kiss your hand” 😂😂

Was not expecting this to lead off with material conditions and piracy! It’s like: I’ve included the current laws so any honest seaman reading can avoid stumbling into the ‘pirate’ label. Also, I’ve noticed there are no Dutch pirates; that’s probably because their sailors can always find work fishing. We should copy that; ours are broke! And employing privateers in war is just asking for pirates in peace, IMO.