Status Updates From Blown Away (Three More Wish...

“I’m Cade Reed, and this is my fiancée, Millie Mossberg,” Cade says. “Fiancée?” I breathe, barely able to get the word out. “We’re getting married next weekend, and we’re having a baby,” Cade continues. There it is…Closure. I’m overcome with joy. This is what bliss feels like.

Cade interrupts me, capturing my mouth to kiss me ever so tenderly. He breathes into me, and I take strength from his essence. My hands wrap around him, and he deepens the kiss. So sweet. So gentle. We’ve gone from excitement to passion to tenderness. I’m a fan of all three, but the tenderness wins me over completely.

We’re not going to die by the hands of drug smugglers. I’m going to have a fatal heart attack bonking your brains out when we’re 80.” "80? Does that mean we we’re going to be together for 50 years, or do you mean that we’re going to go our separate ways and then look each other up on Facebook in fifty years and you do some kind of booty call?

Is the—you know—doing all right?” Sure I’m being abducted, but I can’t help feeling warm and fuzzy from Cade’s concern over the little bundle of joy in my middle. I’m starting to think that this accident, mistake, life-altering, screw up might be a good thing. An image of little Beryl riding on Cade’s shoulders fills my mind, and it makes me happy.

I throw my arms around him and nestle my head in his chest. I’m not an engineer, but I’m sure the grinding noise is bad. The balloon sounds like it’s shutting down. It sounds like death is upon us. “I love you,” I say, surprising the hell out of myself. “I love you, too,” he responds, surprising me even more.

Cade puts the cocaine back in the cooler and stands up, dusting his hands off on his jeans. He helps me up, and I get dizzy from the view. With all of the commitment talk, the sex, and the cocaine, I pretty much forgot that we’re hanging precariously from a balloon as it passes through the Rockies.

And you think this is my baby?” “Who else’s would it be?” “I don’t know your private life.” “Whatever. The point is that you’re the only one that I’ve ever had sex on a desk with, and the only one I’ve had sex with in a long time.” “We only had sex once. Once! How could you be pregnant?” “I don’t think you understand how this works,” I say. “It’s not like commitment. Sperm don’t take a wait and see approach.