Status Updates From Childish Games (Meet the Sh...

This is hard for me…uh..I don’t think I’m in love with you yet. I don’t think I’ll ever be in love with you…because you kinda just keep me in this perpetual state of falling. You want me to confine what I feel for you to one word. I can’t do that, because I don’t know what it is. Is it like love? Yeah, I guess…maybe a few steps above it. And just because I can’t say how I feel, doesn’t mean I don’t feel it.

Dad, Matt and I are about to do something crazy.”
“Anything I should be worried about?” Matt was already heading for the door. “Whatever happens just know that we love you, Pap.” Tyler stopped and placed a hand on his father’s shoulder. “It may be a good idea to have some bail money ready.” “You boys are kidding, right?” Roscoe said, but they were already making their way to the elevators. “Right?”

So tell her!” Fat Santa shouted in frustration. “He’s right,” Matt concurred. “And telling someone how you feel isn’t a sign of weakness. It’s a sign of trust. You give someone that information and you trust them not to hurt you with it.

Fat Santa got up and used his weight to his advantage again, tossing himself onto Tyler’s midriff in what could only be described as an ungraceful belly-flop. Now his eye was ticking and twitching, he felt paralyzed between his neck and waist, and he made peace with the fact that he was about to die a slow, painful death due to asphyxiation. What an embarrassing way to die.

Big girl panties, she told herself. “I’m in love with you…No games…No pretenses…I love you. That’s where I’m at…but you…you’re stuck on a step above fond…because you’re still hung up on your ex-girlfriend.” He gritted his teeth and sneered. “That’s not true and you know it.” “I don’t.” She slowly shook her head. “You’ve never told me.

The first tear that rolled down her cheek destroyed something inside him. This woman. This insensitive woman, who hid behind silliness and sarcasm. This woman who rarely showed vulnerability. This woman who never wore her heart on her sleeve. This woman was crying because of him.

I want you in my bed.”
“And I want you right here, right now.”
“We could be at my place in 20 minutes.”
“You could have me screaming in 5.”
~ ~ I bet the security guard needs a smoke and will be selling the security camera footage from the elevator and parking garage to TMZ!

I want you in my bed.”
“And I want you right here, right now.”
“We could be at my place in 20 minutes.”
“You could have me screaming in 5.”
~ ~ I bet the security guard needs a smoke and will be selling the segue camera footage from the elevator and parking garage to TMZ!

Well, eff me,” she said. “I believe I just did.” She coughed out a laugh, too tired to do anything more than that. “What happened to making sweet, sweet love to me?” “Yeah,” he said, sounding completely sated. “I thought that sh!t could wait for tomorrow.” “Ooh, Tyler Evans, you rebel. A brown word.”

A tight fist went to his mouth and he bit into his knuckle. She smiled, loving the way he was unravelling in front of her. “Three?” “I forget.” He was on her faster than a fat kid on cake.

Gemma: Borrowed your car XOXO Jordan’s response was a mixture of auto correct and just plain drunkenness. Jordan: U ducking slut! Jordan: U tole my card. Howm I support to get home????!

Maybe Tyler needs a testosterone injection.... no guy should be so confused about his feelings for months on end and have to act so wishy washy. Get the shot or get your balls back from your ex's purse or wherever you left them!

Tyler was still bouncing back and forth with her. Usually he freaked out every time they kissed, but that kiss in his office was different. He didn’t freak out and that was freaking her out because she didn’t know what it meant. Did he want something more? Did he need more time? What the hell was he thinking?

Don’t say we didn’t give you a fair warning. If you hurt our sister, we’ll cut your balls off!”
Tyler’s eyes widened at the threat. He was quite attached to his balls and he didn’t feel that was really necessary.
“Dad has some shears in the shed we could use,” Shane chimed in. “You got that, Tyler?” Max said. “That’s the message we’re gonna leave you with. Balls and shears.

Don’t even let your thoughts go there, Ma.”
“What star sign is he?” She rolled her eyes.
“I don’t know. What star sign is non-committal and indecisive about what they want.”
“Oh, honey, that’s not a star sign. That’s just men.” She smiled. “I’m gonna go talk to him.

That was uncomfortable and unpleasant and it was safe to say that Operation Cupid was a total, epic fail. This was what he’d wanted. He’d wanted Trisha to see them together, use jealously to make her realize what she’d lost. He’d even begged Matt to help him out and now that it had happened, he just felt like a despicable human being.

And I guess it doesn’t help that you’re also..” He cleared his throat awkwardly. "kinda pretty. Maybe even bordering on…incredibly beautiful.” Those words were so sincere, so completely inappropriate considering the circumstances and the deal they’d made just 2 days ago. She wanted to scream, punch him in the face and scream some more. She was so tired of all these mixed messages.

He never bothered to get to know me. He was just all up in my Kool-Ade without even knowing the flavor.” “Is that a real saying? I-I don’t think that’s a real saying.” “It is.

Pull back! Pull back! Retreat! Retreat! I’m kissing Jordan. Why am I kissing Jordan? This is bad. This is bad. This is so so…amazing.

Jordan, I’d like to point out that I’m more of a flight than a fight guy, so if shit goes down, it’s every man for himself.” She laughed. “Thanks for letting me know.” He held the door open for her and she walked in. “I don’t think I’ve ever heard you use a brown word before. Did you just say if shit goes down?

You didn’t like it. If this isn’t your thing, why did you agree to come?” “I believe one should always try something at least once. And I have to admit watching scantily dressed people declare their love for each other through dance…with my boss was an all new kind of awkward for me.

The smooth skin there was tempting her tongue to give it a lick. Aaah, gross! She couldn’t believe that image had actually crept into her mind. Gross! After working off a minor gag reflex, she mentally poured bleach all over her brain and scrubbed that thought right off.

The rumor around the office was that she was partially deaf, seemingly because she had lost any and all ability to use her inside voice. If she whispered, Tyler could hear it in his office. The volume on her voice box was set at too fucking loud for humans and possibly painful for dogs.

What did I do that was so wrong?” Tyler threw his hands up in frustration. “I didn’t cheat or lie or…or go to strip clubs! I was faithful for three years and I gave her everything. What more could she possibly want?