Status Updates From Похождения бравого солдата ...

“‘And so they’ve killed our Ferdinand’ said the charwoman to Mr. Švejk, who had left military service years before, after having been finally certified by an army medical board as an imbecile, and now lived by selling dogs - ugly, mongrel monstrosities whose pedigrees he forged”

Such a freaking banger first sentence I’m locked in at the jump. Ready to go to war (literally) for Josef Švejk!!!

One thing was certain: no one knew at what hour and in what state the major left the general that night. They were all of them in such a condition that no one noticed his absence. The general was even confused about who of the company was speaking. The major had already been more than two hours away when the general, twirling his moustaches and smiling in an idiotic way. called out: 'Very well said, major'.