Status Updates From Die By the Drop (Shivers an...

banger start so far

Skim reading it. Sounds like vampire porn…prob will end up DNF it..not into ménage, group sex or sharing. Gross.

After virtuously cleaning out some romances left DNF for a few weeks, I am now treating myself to a new read and omfg this is so good 🍿👀🍿

“Catch you on the flip side, Evie.”

“You’re too human for your own good, Evie. Your guilt over killing weaker creatures is pedestrian as fuck. You think leopards feel guilt for stalking and enjoying their meat?”
“I think if the leopard could feel the pain their prey feels, they would. That moment of terror, the last breath before their eyes go cold? Yes, they’d feel guilt. I think you would, too.”
“All I feel is hard."

I am the fount, the bearer of life. Drink of life, as I drink of death. Drink of me. Drop by drop—
This dance between Jesse and I seemed as simple as predator and victim, and yet, maybe we’d stumbled onto more in these woods. Maybe this push and pull between us had always been ancient and primordial. Unavoidable.

Their bodies said prayers to some familiar deity wearing an unfamiliar face, and the deity answered with pleasure amidst the pain.
Women like me made offerings of the blood tide rising and falling between their thighs, feeding beasts with the promise of life. The beasts fed and their bloodlust abated. At least for a while, at least enough to seek something greater than the kill.

Predators lay their heads on the bare breasts and thighs of witches and wept like me, cleansing themselves in the waters of forgiveness. Tears as sweet as honeysuckle were kissed from the cheeks of the creatures who cried like Jesse cried now. Men lay with men and women lay with women without judgment or fear. Couples writhed like supplicants to the heavens.

No, a memory, coded into me like a chain in my DNA, rose to the surface of my mind. I smelled ancient smoke and bonfires and sweat. Bodies everywhere heeding the call of the moon, bodies splayed under the stars, feasting on all the foods vibrant life can provide.
Lust.
Blood.
Connection.

“This used to nourish us like mother’s milk. But they took it from us.” Jesse’s voice rose on the wind, but carried a weight unlike his own. “We’ve wandered, lost and alone, ever since.” He spoke nonsense but his nonsense triggered something something deep and yearning in me.
A vision, sweet and primal. A fantasy.

“It’s like I’ve been drinking grape juice all this time, and now I’ve had a taste of wine. You taste like nothing else. Like heaven.”

“What is it about you, witch?” he whispered. He met my gaze and I became undone by the wonder in his black eyes, by the tears brimming on his lower lashes. One of those tears fell on my check. He closed his eyes, lowered his face to nuzzle my neck, and asked again, “What is it about you, Evie?”

Jesse groaned as he scented my blood on the air. He lifted his head and breathed deep, just above my face. His expression, the tilt of his head, put me in mind of a bloodhound. Every time my heart tricked me with emotion, my mind pointed to proof Jesse would always be the lion to my lamb.

I reached up and traced his cheek with my fingertips.
He has nothing to offer but beautiful bone structure
The way his muscle and skin fell over bone might be pleasing, but inside, bloody pulp and stolen lives were the attributes that made up Jesse. He’d tortured countless people, as had his crew. They were like rabid strays with no sense of time or place, no sense of the future, and no care for right or wrong

How else to explain this feeling of commonality with a killer? My killer. Had I not flexed the muscle he wanted to punish me for using, I’d have been another dead body on his hands. I wanted to hurt Jesse. I wanted to relish his pain, but I hadn’t been designed that way. I’d been designed to feel his pain like my own, to make him feel my pain.
And to take the pain away.

“Get out of my head, witch"
“I don’t know how to turn it off, Jesse.” I spoke in measured tones like I would to a spooked horse. “Even if I did, I don’t think you want me to right now. I don’t think you want to be alone in there. You called me and I answered.” ...
Seeing a monster cry was surreal. He looked helpless for all his strength, all his terrible beauty. Helpless and lonely.

I felt Jesse’s hair flow through my fingers—through a mother’s fingers—and I recalled, with memories not my own, how his mother used to braid his hair. How she used to sing to him, low and sweet, in quiet moments. I saw dark eyes and great blue skies as he lay in her lap and stared up at the heavens. I felt peace and love, two things that had long been absent in Jesse’s mind.

“Are you going to kill me now?” I asked again.
He grabbed me by the neck and stared at me, long and hard.
“When a pet is bad you don’t put her down.” Jesse smirked.

At the edges of my mind, I saw Jesse lift the golden feather into the air. He’d watched the sunlight glint off the golden symmetry of the charm and the links on the chain. I saw him shove the necklace into his leather jacket just when he heard the squeal of tires as I made my escape.

When I stared deep into Jesse’s eyes I could swear I saw my own blooming completely black and soulless. Our hunger tethered us together like a blood-soaked thread.
On the other side of the room, Vaughn and Liam waited for another chance to pounce. They’d caught their second wind.
The night had just begun.

I watched Vaughn roll over and watch me. He had the same covetous stare I saw in his fantasy, where murder and possession were two sides of the same coin. Spent as he was after fucking me, he still wanted more. He wanted what Jesse had...Jesse held me in a silent taunt to Vaughn and his large hand cupped my face. He turned me into his kiss.

He wants a partner, not a victim.
In a way I hadn’t since he’d kidnapped me, I fell into Jesse’s desires. His plans for me.
I shuddered, seeing endless roads sprawl, dust and snow, sun and gray winds. Time stretched before me like state line after state line until he grew bored and drained me dry.
How long? How many ways could he twist my gift for sick pleasure until I had nothing left to give?

Good. I hope you have that look on your face when I kill you.
I blinked and turned my stare from Vaughn’s face. I could have been Vaughn’s twin, my thoughts all blood, sex, and vengeance. I didn’t know which of us had voiced the murderous thought. But I knew I could almost climax thinking of Vaughn’s life bleeding out into my hands.

“Feels good to be one of us, witch. Like nothing else in the world.” Jesse’s head fell back and he bucked his hips forward, filling my mouth again. “Fucking, killing, taking whatever we want, whenever we want.” He sucked a breath through his teeth. I tried to make my mouth slack, and my mind sharp to combat his assault.
“You like riding this wave, don’t you? Turns you on to see us taking what we want.”

I didn’t see his death, but I felt Vaughn sink his teeth into the boy’s throat. My fingers shook at the vicarious rush.
Yes, Vaughn’s voice echoed through my head while he sucked the boy dry. The monster crooned to him in his mind, as if he could hear the soothing commands. That last breath, that last moment of struggle is my favorite part. Give it to me, give it up.

“What you’re feeling now, with our blood running through your veins, is only a taste of what it’s like. You wouldn’t judge us if you knew how bad it gets.”