Status Updates From Berzerker (Twirled World In...

mghy

Lucky's chin rested on one of his shoulders and Lily's on the other, like two demented devils who murdered the rational angel.

Certainly getting better half way through

A book that sounds great from the blurb, I am 6 chapters in and the nick names and over analyzing is getting on a nerves.

How can a grown up man 'bounce' in excitement. I have come across that description in several books and have always wondered.

Dodging responsibilities is what I'm doing...

So tired .. but let's see if I can finish this before bed tonight!

DNF'd at 12%. Dialogue was just too confusing and I didn't feel inclined to try to work who was saying what.

I keep losing track of who is speaking. The dialogue is really confusing in places.

The correct form is past. Not passed. This error has cropped up a couple of times already. As in get past his insecurities. Not get passed his insecurities. He's not giving his insecurities to you. You are trying to circumvent them. I've got my mental red pen out... *sigh*

"Dear Fake Jesus, you're a smart ass."
That is some straight up bullshit right there. No previous mention that the MC who said this has any religious hang ups so this HAS to be the author's opinion/belief. You don't have to like anyone else's religion. What you DO have to do is show some goddamned respect.

Good God. The story is good but where the FUCK was the editor?! I mean, damn. If you can't afford an editor? Cool. I understand. There are alternatives. Like, ask someone to beta or use the grammar feature on Word Perfect. Fuck, man.

Not a bad story but the atrocious lack of editing; grammar, sentence structure, punctuation, is driving me batty!

It really shouldn't take me this damn long to read such a short book.