Status Updates From Hold My Beer and Watch This...

Now, it doesn’t work in the patient’s favor to do something stupid, but that stupidity is what keeps millions of people around the world with job security. So, by all means, if you want to drive your go-kart off a cliff to see if you can nail the landing, just make sure you have someone on standby to call 911.

911 dispatch to EMS:

“Respond to report of female stuck to chain link fence. Patient reportedly pierced her genitalia on fence and cannot remove fencing. Officers on scene, following foot pursuit.”

You wince at that no matter who it would be describing :(