Status Updates From Nailed (Blue Collar Bad Boy...

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Brody gets on his knee. “So, will you take me and my d**k forever or what?” Oh my gosh. He’s going to make me cry. I hate crying, and I have to go on TV. “Yes, yes I’ll marry you. I love you.” He slams the ring on my finger, slaps my a**, and tells me, “Good luck. Knock ‘em dead out there.”

When we get to my place, I’m suddenly the nervous one. My cabin is on the outskirts of town. It’s small, but it’s something I built with my own hands. I want her to like it. I want her to want to be here with me. I’ve never brought a woman here—or to any place I’ve lived before.

I didn’t get much sleep last night after he left. I slept fine while he was there, though. In his arms. Cocooned in his heat and the hard planes of his body. I felt so safe and at peace. "At peace" is not something a person like me feels very often. Always living in your brain means never really feeling comfortable in your body. And your brain never shuts off.

“I realize this might sound strange, as we are both naked in my bedroom, but I have some trepidation about losing my virginity this afternoon.”
I love the way she talks. So methodical. So many big words. None of the “ums” and “likes” and “ahs” most girls use.

I want her so bad. I’ve never wanted anyone like this before. I want to eff her, yeah. But I want to make her feel good. Not just physically. I want to make her feel whole. Take that sadness and shame away. Who the hell am I to think I can do that for her?

My dad drinks like it’s his second job only because smoking Marlboros is his first. He hit me until I was big enough to hit back. That’s when my ma left him, too. I help her out because she’s my mother—but I don’t think she trusts that I won’t end up like her ex. But I can guaran-f-ing-tee I won’t hit women or kids like he did. I won’t be my old man.

“Why do you think you’re a dork?” he asks finally. I shrug. “I don’t have a lot of social skills.” He shrugs back. “I don’t like people much either.”
“It’s not that I don’t like people. I just don’t know how to act around them. I say stupid things.” Like now. “It’s worse with boys.”
“Good thing I’m not a boy then.”