Status Updates From De avond is ongemak

When I once stood on a spider in
Granny’s sheltered housing that didn’t have a shelter, Granny said,
‘Death is a process that disintegrates into actions and actions into phases.
Death never just happens to you, there is always something that causes it.
This time it was you. You can kill too.’

"Every loss contains all previous attempts
to hang on to something you didn’t want to lose but had to let go of
anyway, from a marble bag filled with the most beautiful marbles and
rare shooters, to my brother. We find ourselves in loss and we are who we
are – vulnerable beings, like stripped starling chicks that fall naked from
their nests and hope they’ll be picked up again. "

"The teacher told us during the
history lesson that Hitler had fallen through ice when he was four and
had been saved by a priest, that some people can fall through ice and it’s
better if they’re not rescued. I wondered then why a bad person like
Hitler could be saved and not my brother. Why the cows had to die while
they hadn’t done anything wrong."