Status Updates From The Human Chair

"The purchaser was a high-ranking official who lived in Tokyo."

Ehhh excuse me? dime que no es lo que creo que es y no va a pasar lo que creo que va a pasar

Liar, you filthy liar

HE IS ROAMING AROUND THE HOUSE?

"I am but a worm, a loathsome creature, but I have but one request; would you meet me once? Just once."

Girly why are you still reading get out of there

"To put it explicitly, she happens to be none other than yourself Madam. Ever since your Husband brought the chair from that furniture store..."

DON'T MAKE THE HUSBAND BE THE BAD GUY YOU WERE THE FREAK INSIDE THE CHAIR

Nooooooooooooooooooooooo

You wanted her to fall in love with a chair... dude come on

"I longed to hold her, every moment of the time, when she was away even for a fleeting moment, I waited for her return like a loved crazed Romeo yearning for his Juliet."

GET OUT

YOU DIDN'T HAVE AFFAIRS WITH OTHER WOMEN THEY JUST SAT ON A CHAIR

"I had come to be with the wife constantly, united with her as one so to speak, With the expectation of the dining and sleeping hours, her soft body was always seated on my knees, for the simple reason that she was engaged in a deep thinking task."

I am cut into all my chairs when I get home

"was the fact that my chair was meant more for the use of his young and attractive wife"

Nooooooooooooooo

"I craved a lover of my own kind."

Several months inside the chair?!

"maddening pleasure"

Sir get out that chair and get help

"she suddenly burst into laughter, and in the very next moment I could hear her arms flapping like a fish"

If someone described me like this I would simply pass away

Man just wanted to get stepped on by a lady

Body odour? I could actually cry

"Usually woman are classified in two large categories, the plan and the beautiful."

Excuse you, I don't think you can talk about woman

LEAVE THE FEMALES ALONE

Contour of their bottoms?!?!

"Gradually, I could begin to distinguish the sitters just by the sense of touch rather then of sight, those who were fat felt like large jellyfish, while those who were especially thin made me feel like I supporting a skeleton"

I hate this

"soft round bodies"

NO

"large heavy body that of a European"

Well thats rude

"Good god this chair is certainly heavy, it must weight a ton!"

SIRE THATS BECAUSE A FREAK LIVES IN IT

A PEEP HOLE?

TO SUITE HIS WEIRD URGES?

"I next longed to accompany the chair wherever it went."

SCREAMS

"I let my body sink deeply into the chair and caressing the two arms rests with my hands, gasped, with genuine satisfaction, pleasure"

This poor chair

"Once back to Earth I gain myself back to a miserable creature, a helpless crawling worm"

Worms are better