Status Updates From Um Amante Sem Igual

“Oh god. I’ve killed a man with a marble penis.”

I’m crying at this

“She took a deep breath and pulled the trigger just as the dog inserted his nose into her behind. She leaped, squeaked, and there was a boom and a shattering pling, as the musket ball struck the statue of David’s penis and hurtled it westward toward Mr. Goodkind.” (Mr goodkind was reading a very pious book performative to make the others feel guilty about shooting guns 😭😭😭)

This is so messyyyyyy

Georgina and Jonathan have interacted approximately 0 times but from the general vibes I’m getting i ship them so hard. It’s giving couple you can’t believe are together from snl

Genderbent pride and prejudice?? I’m sat