Status Updates From Hell's King (Hell's Son, #3)
Hell's King (Hell's Son, #3) by
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Carly
is 93% done
No one dared to make a sound as all eyes and ears were tuned to the drama unfolding.
Not liking it one bit, and used to being the center of attention, Lucifer farted. Didn't excuse himself, though, because that would be polite. It meant some gazes turned to him, which was better because, hello, most important person in the yard.
— Feb 28, 2019 09:37AM
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Not liking it one bit, and used to being the center of attention, Lucifer farted. Didn't excuse himself, though, because that would be polite. It meant some gazes turned to him, which was better because, hello, most important person in the yard.
Carly
is 79% done
At his complaint, Lucinda giggled "Oh, Daddy. You're silly. Don't I look pretty?"
At the dulcet, lisped query, his face softened "You are always beautiful, baby girl" He held out his arms, and she hopped into them "Are you ready for your party?"
"Uh-huh" She nodded her head "I wanna dance. Auntie Bambi says she's gonna teach me to twerk."
Auric glared over her head "Auntie Bambi is going to keep her moves rated G"
— Feb 27, 2019 11:11PM
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At the dulcet, lisped query, his face softened "You are always beautiful, baby girl" He held out his arms, and she hopped into them "Are you ready for your party?"
"Uh-huh" She nodded her head "I wanna dance. Auntie Bambi says she's gonna teach me to twerk."
Auric glared over her head "Auntie Bambi is going to keep her moves rated G"
Carly
is 77% done
"I'll leave you alone, but I wanted to remind you of Lucinda's upcoming birthday party. You haven't replied to the RSVP."
He grimaced. "I don't do clowns and balloons."
"Neither do I. Horrid things. Daddy saves those for the pedophiles. Ours will be a barbecue-steak, corn on the cob, potato salad. My men love grilling meat. Say you'll come."
— Feb 27, 2019 08:19PM
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He grimaced. "I don't do clowns and balloons."
"Neither do I. Horrid things. Daddy saves those for the pedophiles. Ours will be a barbecue-steak, corn on the cob, potato salad. My men love grilling meat. Say you'll come."
Carly
is 71% done
Chris jumped to his feet. "Who the fuck are you?"
"Philokrates."
"What are you?" was his next question because he'd never seen the likes of this dude.
"I am a majordomo."
"In English?"
The green fellow sighed. "What is it with today's youth, lacking in the niceties? Let me put this in a way you'll understand, then. Think of me as the Alfred of the Underworld. The butler from Hell."
— Feb 27, 2019 06:47PM
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"Philokrates."
"What are you?" was his next question because he'd never seen the likes of this dude.
"I am a majordomo."
"In English?"
The green fellow sighed. "What is it with today's youth, lacking in the niceties? Let me put this in a way you'll understand, then. Think of me as the Alfred of the Underworld. The butler from Hell."
Carly
is 68% done
"Time will tell."
"If there is such a notion as time when all is said and done," she grumbled.
"Such pessimism. Don't you have any faith at all?"
"No. You told me faith was for morons and to sell them fake holy water and then watch as vampires eat them."
"That's brilliant." Lucifer grinned, with too many teeth. "I really should write a book. The Devil's Guide to Common Fucking Sense."
— Feb 27, 2019 05:55PM
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"If there is such a notion as time when all is said and done," she grumbled.
"Such pessimism. Don't you have any faith at all?"
"No. You told me faith was for morons and to sell them fake holy water and then watch as vampires eat them."
"That's brilliant." Lucifer grinned, with too many teeth. "I really should write a book. The Devil's Guide to Common Fucking Sense."
Carly
is 66% done
Noting his suit, which lacked any kind of outrageous color or animal print, she couldn't help but remark, "You're looking awfully respectable. Who were you trying to impress?"
Lucifer glared down at his ensemble. "Gaia. She hid my duckies on me. And my sharks. She got rid of all my custom-made outfits, even the sailor suit."
Thank you, Gaia. "Is that why you look pissed?"
aww…not the duckies…lol
— Feb 27, 2019 04:58PM
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Lucifer glared down at his ensemble. "Gaia. She hid my duckies on me. And my sharks. She got rid of all my custom-made outfits, even the sailor suit."
Thank you, Gaia. "Is that why you look pissed?"
aww…not the duckies…lol
Carly
is 60% done
"You wouldn't even be here if it weren't for me," Mama Antichrist declared.
Disdain curled his lip. "Is this going to turn into some sob story about how you gained a ton of weight while pregnant and I had a fat head and your body was never the same?"
"A gigantic head that took four stitches. Do you know how much those threads of fate cost me?" His mother lifted her chin. "You owe me."
"You can kiss my-"
— Feb 27, 2019 04:01PM
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Disdain curled his lip. "Is this going to turn into some sob story about how you gained a ton of weight while pregnant and I had a fat head and your body was never the same?"
"A gigantic head that took four stitches. Do you know how much those threads of fate cost me?" His mother lifted her chin. "You owe me."
"You can kiss my-"
Carly
is 45% done
"Fun?" A hopeful glint entered his gaze. "Think I'll get to use that new sword I ordered?"
"I do. Which means, I'd better hurry up and finish that cape I've been making for you." Something to rival Lucifer's own.
"No cape." Chris shook his head. "They are the number one cause of injury among superheroes."
"But you're not a hero." She peeked at him and winked. "You're the villain."
— Feb 27, 2019 02:58PM
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"I do. Which means, I'd better hurry up and finish that cape I've been making for you." Something to rival Lucifer's own.
"No cape." Chris shook his head. "They are the number one cause of injury among superheroes."
"But you're not a hero." She peeked at him and winked. "You're the villain."
Carly
is 20% done
"Yeah, I don't know about being Hell's King. I hear the Wi-Fi sucks in the Pit. How is it in Heaven?"
"It's like a never-ending perfect, sunny day. Ideal temperature. Blue skies. Clean streets. Fresh air."
"I was asking about the Wi-Fi."
"Oh," Jesus said, appearing startled. "It's great, bother. Five bars everywhere you go."
"Figures."
— Feb 27, 2019 12:04PM
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"It's like a never-ending perfect, sunny day. Ideal temperature. Blue skies. Clean streets. Fresh air."
"I was asking about the Wi-Fi."
"Oh," Jesus said, appearing startled. "It's great, bother. Five bars everywhere you go."
"Figures."
Carly
is 13% done
"I still think if you want followers, you should start a boy band," she declared.
"Do I look like the boy band type to you?" With his lanky build and dark hair, he kind of did.
"Just think of the groupie legion you could form, though."
"Of teenage girls."
"If you could get them some Valkyrie training, they'd be hormonal, Berzerker killing machines."
"There is something inherently deviant about that plan."
— Feb 26, 2019 10:15PM
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"Do I look like the boy band type to you?" With his lanky build and dark hair, he kind of did.
"Just think of the groupie legion you could form, though."
"Of teenage girls."
"If you could get them some Valkyrie training, they'd be hormonal, Berzerker killing machines."
"There is something inherently deviant about that plan."
