Status Updates From Don't Come Looking for Love...

Never let anyone tell you something is impossible because of your looks or size. You are beautiful the way you are! So, strut your shit like you mean it and don’t let evil bitches steal your shine.

“Where you going this time of night?” Britain asked me. “I’m about to go meet Kenjay down the way. I'll be back in a few hours!” I told her. “You not going to go fuck another broad are you? You leaving out at side-chick hours!” she said. “Side-chick hours?” I asked. “Yes! You know around this time is the only time they get to spend with another chick’s man!” she said.

“Bitch, if I see Rich Homie Quan, hold me down! I’m taking that nigga into the bathroom to have him feeling some type of way,” she said.

“Your stitches will dissolve but if it smells funny and starts bleeding really bad, call 9-1-1. Don’t tell your grandma nothing about Shia! She will make shit worst on your life. If Yager finds out that baby is still living, he will do anything to hurt her! He is very sick in the head! Trust me, I know! For all he knows, she is dead! It’s safer for her that way!” she said.

“It’s okay, lil’ boo, just let me stick the head in,” he said, fondling me. My mom stole some money from someone and now I have to pay for it. My virginity is about to be taken away all because she owes someone money that she couldn’t pay back.

My mama was a crack-head, I mean, a full-blown one. She broke into your house, stole gas out of your car. Go to Laundromats and steal clothes out of the dryers. Geraldine did it all but I loved her to death. She wasn’t the best mom but I loved her dearly. She would leave me in the house for days at a time but she always made sure I had something to eat and clean clothes.

Loving it so far!

Its getting so good!!

This book is so flipping funny.

I promise this is the funniest crackhead ever in life. I am seriously LOL.