Status Updates From Great Granny Webster

"I had the feeling that I was the man you had always been searching for, that if we could just be alone together for a little while I could release something inside you which no-one had ever released before."

"You know how some men seem to find unresponsive women very arousing. We must never forget about necrophiles."

'I didn't want to stir up a terrifying hornet's nest of furious R.A F. men in their underpants...'

'Although she never had any children - "Who could face that, darling?" - all her ex-husbands and ex-lovers continued to finance her for years after she left them'

'I was sent to stay with her two years after the war had ended, but in her house it seemed to be war-time.'