Status Updates From 35 Dumb Things Well-Intende...

So I Got This book When I Got into college and it was one of the books recommended for us to read. Now I am rereading it, and I am reminded of some things that I have heard or said.
1. I know exactly how you feel.
2. The same thing happens to me too.
3. You are so articulate ( this was said to me.)
4. You speak the language very well. ( also said to me)

Raising the bar – B. in Barr reminds us to breathe, A reminds us to acknowledge and R reminds us to respond. This is the best formula when heated and trying to have a productive conversation.

Pile on principle: after a lifetime of hurt being piled on or being told, you’re not good enough, you may want to avoid some pain by creating barriers or distance between yourself and others in an effort to save yourself from curing more pain

Intent vs. impact - when you do a careless behavior, it can end up hurting the other person. The three options are to blame the other person, try to shift your focus by saying that you didn’t intend to hurt them or take responsibility for your carelessness pick up the pieces and try to make things right as possible.

The book is good so far! One key point that I like that they mentioned is “just because we have good intentions does not mean that the other person is not negatively impacted”

She’s unfortunately cooking

Erm a white lady telling me things about diversity and what I should do to not be insensitive