Status Updates From Le notti bianche / La mite ...

The Dream of a Ridiculous Man is currently my favorite short story from Dostoyevsky. It spoke of a belief that is not by default of humanity. That everything terrible about humanity is learned and not their beginning. That’s what paradise is to the main protagonist and he wholeheartedly believes in it. It’s really beautiful and I have more thoughts reserved for it.

I love his self-awareness of how “despicable” he is. His flaws are still human but I like that they are dialed up to the point of hysterics. Dostoyevsky somehow mastered creating those kinds of characters. Deprived, insane but intelligently self-aware.

He examined what a female escort has to sacrifice just to survive a life that isn’t worth living. It’s a common and heartbreaking reality to a lot of them and Liza is one of them and can only hold on to the memories of being loved as she continues to give the rest of herself. It’s a rude but very real way of saying it. Just the whole monologue is heartbreaking.

I’m surprised that amidst his extreme vanity in spiraling to get the upperhand on his former colleagues, he has quite a healthy outlook on love, marriage and parenthood that the supposedly normal people like his colleagues likely don’t have. It’s an interesting difference in perspective.