Status Updates From The Crown of Columbus

“A vehicle is the extension of oneself, the four-wheeled face one presents to the world, the ectoskeleton upon which one depends.” No, Roger, it’s a means of conveyance. Get over yourself

Roger sounds like the kind of person who thinks Viv should be thankful he’s stooped to date her. Ew

If Roger is some kind of self-portrait of the author, as I’ve read some believe this book to be highly autobiographical, just wow. Who would reproduce with this absolute ego fest?!

This is so hard to read. I don’t have any time but also I just had a baby and decided doing karate with my teenager is the only way to keep him off drugs. Guess what: you don’t have to be everything to everyone and you should ask your baby daddy to pull his own weight

Imagine being sold Tupperware in the delivery room. The Eighties were wild.

The thing that is terrible about 95% of ‘90s books is the body shaming. Like this woman body shaming herself for gaining weight while pregnant. This trend needs to permanently die.