Status Updates From East of Eden

“Harry should have known better than to spring something like that without telling Arthur and I first. I raised him better."

We LOVE a good Molly and Arthur
Especially when they acknowledge their children are problematic

"Merlin, can you two just have a normal conversation? It's like arguing is some form of foreplay for you two–*not* that I mind, but can we at least wait until we're back home before you start undressing each other to prove a point about how school-aged Draco was a right prick and school-aged Hermione had a bit of a temper."

*snorts*

"Stop it, you're going to ruin it," Draco whispered.
Harry glanced up, his hands freezing at his waist, and he rolled his eyes before smoothing out the fabric. "Yes, *Dad*"
"Keep it up, and I'll make you call me that later," Draco warned, his voice dropping an octave.

SIR

BRUUHHHHHHH
CHEATING ALL AROUND

"I don't know what I feel about him-for him. I… I love you. I *do*, Harry. I love you so much."
"But not enough to not shag Malfoy, clearly. Were you trying to hurt me? Was that what you wanted? Because if so, mission accomplished!"

OOOOOOOOOFFFF

"Harry… Draco and I…. I didn't mean to. I don't even know how it happened."

I can tell you EXACTLY how it happened

“she had cheated on sweet, loving, kind Harry—Harry, who had looked past all her faults, Harry who was willing to risk everything just to fucking pull her back from the brink of her self destruction—“

Yuh

I truly hate the term “manhood”. I understand none of the words are particularly pretty but it just sounds so weird

Oh no. Nevermind. They’re just going to have sex instead. Which is considerably worse. Both are cheating but I mean… damn

BRUUUHHHHHHH
Another kiss you’re not going to tell Harry about?????

Did Draco and Hermione TELL Harry they shared a kiss or nah?

“A woman who had been more demon than human at one point in time—so consumed in the throes of addiction that she lost whole weeks of her life to chasing a high.”

Big oof

“He's a bloody Pureblood, for fuck's sake. I have half a mind to write his mother and tell her what sort of man she's raised—"

I’m dead

I feel so bad for all three of them after Hermione’s relapse. It hurts

"Thank you, by the way."
"For what?"
"For all of this… for still believing I could be saved from myself.”

We love a good Harry, truly

"'Mione, please. Just calm down."

Welp, now I’m anything but calm. You did this

“She was worthless. She was nothing. She was alone. She was going to be alone forever.”